#it always comes back to my lad lmao but yeah this is why i find 'WELL if miguel understood scientifically that the multiverse's inherent

[fellhellion]

i get that it's fun from a fan perspective and i'm not trying to disparge that, but I think analysis wise, trying to overly determine scientific understanding to the canon framework kind of. misses the lens through which the framework is asking to be understood in the first place.

it's in the name and what's associated w it. the literary canon which upholds a specific body of texts as worthy of acclaim. the 'canon' as used in a colloquiel sense in fan communities to talk about about what elements of a text are unquestionably certain. hell (though i'd personally say spiderverse probably isn't intentionally invoking this subtext), canon as law by which you are judged.

'canon' in spiderverse is specifically being utilised as a vehicle for the characters to question the purpose of suffering within their lives (and because they are characters for which these aren't imagined stakes, they place it within a framework of fate), and as the means to ask the audience to interogate why we we uphold particular elements or beats of The Spiderman Story as ‘legitimise’ that retelling

[techs-goggles9902]

From the WIP ask game: I would like to know about the modern au tbb please? :)

TBB Modern AU Pt.1

Requests are open for all listed fandoms! See Masterlist for details. It’ll take me a minute to write bc I’m still emotionally traumatized by TBB s3

Summary: the bad batch but in a modern setting (duh).

Warning: talks about death and a bad car accident. I think there’s swearing (I forgot lmao) nothing bad happens but traumatic pasts are talked about.

Word Count: 1530 (I think)

A/N: Im so tired 😭 it’s 1:14 am at the moment. Anyway, I didn’t plan on making a series but I’ve kept you waiting far too long, bestie. THE ENDING IS INTENTIONAL. IM WORKING ON IT I SWEAR

NOTE: if confused about the occupations of the batch members, see this link.

“Echo, help me!” Omega says, bounding down the narrow hallway of the small apartment they were currently living in. She holds out a hair tie with a few stray strands of her blonde hair curling around the fabric.

Echo sighs, taking her hand in his good hand and leading her over to their raggedy couch littered with rips and mismatched pieces of cloth stitched to the creaky leather.

“Why didn’t you have Hunter do your hair? I don’t even have hair,” he sighs, gathering his sister’s wavy locks with his hands, careful so her hair wouldn’t get caught in his prosthetic.

“He’s sleeping. Still. He and Crosshair were trying to beat… what’s the game called? Gobbler’s Gate? I don’t know, but anyway, he and Cross pulled an all-nighter.” She never could remember that damn game her brothers were obsessed with beating.

“Baldur’s Gate,” Echo reminds her, sighing deeply. Hunter had to start making his deliveries soon, people needed their Doordash.

“Yeah, that!” Omega winces as Echo pulls her hair while tying off her ponytail.

“Sorry, kid.” He gives her shoulder a gentle squeeze with his left hand, his only real hand. “Come help me pick my hat.”

Omega gasps and whips around to face her big brother. “Really? I get to pick your hat today?”

“Yeah, why not? C’mon.” Echo takes her by the hand, always his left hand so he can feel her warm fingers clasping his own. They tiptoe through the hall, Echo’s footsteps muffled by the thick, fluffy slippers he wore, and towards the room he was given when he moved in with them. He’s a brother they didn’t know they had.

Jango got around, Rex had said when he introduced Echo to the batch. That’s what they called themselves, the “batch”. I raised him right, don’t worry, boys. Echo’s a good lad. He had gotten into a car accident not long after he and his twin, Fives, turned 21. Both sustained catastrophic injuries, Echo losing both legs around the knees, his right arm, and gaining severe burns on most of his remaining body. Fives on the other hand… he didn’t make it to the hospital.

Echo was slowly but surely growing back the hair he lost, yet he still finds comfort in wearing his beanies, whether it’s his tie-dyed one or the white one with yellow eyes on the fold, just like the creepy clown Omega had nightmares about.

“Which one for today?” Echo asks, gesturing to the assortment of beanies he keeps laid out on his dresser. He lowers himself onto his mattress with a low grunt. They couldn’t afford bed frames. Omega looks back at his pale blue hoodie, which Echo also has a colorful assortment of, and she selects the royal blue beanie, placing it on his growing follicles.

“That one’s perfect.” She steps back, admiring her work.

“Alright kid, what’s today’s objective? Park? Library? Bothering Wrecker at the mall?”

Omega looks down and furrows her brow as she thinks of what she and Echo should do. She looks up at him with thoughtful eyes. “Can we… visit Fives?”

Echo blinks in surprise and a smile tugs at his chapped lips. “I’d like that. I’d like that alot.”

They’re interrupted by Crosshair’s cursing from the room he shares with Tech. “Shit shit shit. Echo, what the hell? It’s almost 9!” He spits out over his shoulder as he rushes down the hall.

“I’m not in charge of your schedule, Cross! It’s not my fault you played Baldur’s Gate all night,” Echo stands and meets his fuming brother in the living room/kitchen. Crosshair’s trying to tie his shoes with shaky fingers. He’s never been late before, not once. His job was one of two stable jobs the batch had.

“Hey… calm down. They can’t fire you, you’re the reason the diner’s getting busy again.” Echo’s knees creak as he kneels down and puts a hand on his brother’s shoulder.

Crosshair sits back on his heels, tilting his head back with a sigh. “Y-yeah… nothing to worry about.” He looks back at Echo. “You good with spaghetti tonight?”

Echo hums in agreement as Crosshair gets back on his feet. “I’ll be back at 6.” Crosshair unhooks his keys from the rusty rack and leaves.

Omega comes out of Echo’s room wearing his black beanie. Echo groans, “Meg, that clashes with your outfit, I can’t be seen with you now.”

She giggles, pulling her soft teal cardigan around her body. Her white leggings were just begging to be stained. “Echo, I do believe you’ve said ‘black goes with everything’.”

He rolls his eyes, shaking his head fondly.

***

They ate, forced Hunter to awaken from his peaceful sleep, and walked Wrecker to his job at the nearby mall as a security guard. He only took up the job since they lived in a bad neighborhood and he got to tackle people for a living.

“Isn’t it funny that Wrecker’s kinda a cop and Tech sells illegal stuff on the black market?” Omega asked Echo after Wrecker jogged off to make it on time for his shift. The pair strolled towards the bus stop they used to get from Ord Mantell to Coruscant.

“Well…” Echo considered. “It’s a little funny.” Omega grins and clasps his hand tighter. They step into the little covered bench at the bus stop.

“So… how come you moved out of Rex’s house? I mean, he has a nice place and all.” Omega wasn’t with the family when Echo moved in. She’s never asked him about his life before the batch, not unless it was about Fives.

“I… Rex takes in a lot of our brothers. He wants the Fett family to… stay together, I guess. We were all marines or some type of soldier at one point, so we’re all similar. I didn’t… fit in with our other brothers, even if we’re all family. Rex introduced me to the batch and they said I was welcome to move in.” Echo gives her hand a squeeze. “They needed the rent money, too.”

Omega grins, squeezing his hand back.

***

The bus dropped them off a block away from the Coruscant City Cemetery, which was in a pretty decent neighborhood. Omega tugs the wired earbuds out of her ears, handing Echo back his phone. On bus rides, he always let her listen to her music, mostly to make sure she didn’t hear the things drunks always say to Echo.

“Who were you listening to this time, Meg?”

“Lana. I like her song Salvatore,” she says, slipping her hand right back into her brother’s larger one. Lana as in Lana Del Rey, one of Omega’s favorite singers.

They take their time strolling down the Coruscant streets, Echo pointing out his favorite spots occasionally. The wrought iron fence bordering the cemetery comes into view; large, shiny headstones poke out of the ground behind the iron gates.

Echo memorized the spot where he buried his twin, Section 5, row 5, 5 stones from the fifth tree. Of course Fives’ name wasn’t actually Fives, he just loved the number.

“Jango loved Fords… so he named Fives after ‘em.” The small headstone is just up ahead. Omega slowly walks up to it, kneeling a few inches away from the edge of the stone.

“Ford Fett… Echo, what’s your real name?” She asks, gently brushing her palm over the granite marker, stray pine needles blow away as she does so.

Echo pauses, keeping his distance from his sister and his brother’s grave. He slides his hands into his hoodie, shifting his weight. “Elliot.”

Omega hums in acknowledgement, bobbing her head. She says something under her breath to the headstone, Echo doesn’t bother asking her what she said. He keeps his gaze down to the dirt beneath Omega’s knees, a soft smile tugging at his lips.

We have a sister, Fives… oh, you would’ve loved her…

***

Aggressive meowing comes from the apartment as Echo and Omega walk up to the door. The pair exchanges glances. “Is that a cat?” Omega asks.

“I… I don’t even wanna know.” Echo sighs and opens the door to find an angry Tech and a gross looking cat staring up at him. The cat’s dusty brown coat is surprisingly shiny in the light.

“You cannot chew my socks. How many times have I told you this?” Tech spits out, jabbing a slender finger in the cat's direction.

“Are you having a full conversation with the cat? Also, why do we have a cat?” Echo asks. Omega smiles and kneels down beside the feline, new grass stains on the knees of her leggings catch Tech’s eye. He sighs.

“Wrecker brought him home when he returned from his shift. He’s out acquiring the needed supplies for keeping a cat. He named him Gonky. Who names a cat Gonky?”

“Wrecker, apparently.” Echo looks between his brother, the cat, and Omega, sighing and walking off to his room. He wasn’t sharing a room because his nightmares kept his former roommate - Hunter - awake. He can hear Gonky meowing at Tech, an occasional hiss when Tech refuses to give him a sock, along with Omega’s laughing.

***

“What the… why the hell do we have a cat?”

Taglist: @will-is-silly @fionajames @sevdidntdie @hellhound5925 @dangraccoon @skellymom @ithillia (so you know I posted)

Please lmk if you’d like to be taken off or added.

[kiwiwinjindouche]

hi again! i was reading your ocs ask post and you mention kirin/corvo a lot, so i was wondering what your take on their relationship is - how it started & what your headcanons are! full longpost mode if you want to >:) very curious /positive

*cracking fingers* you shouldn't have done that >:3 (it means 'thank you for letting me rant about them too')

(read the fanfic!! :D everything's explained there! /hj /crying)

I ship them. A lot. A very lot.

Corvo has never really heard about Kirin before (why would has he?), so he's only relying on rumors. After hearing both sides, and considering the chance he gave to Anton 15 years ago, he decided to give that same chance to Kirin. Maybe, they could figure out something and start to work together, on less deadly projects. It was worth the try, because Corvo is fully aware of his genius.

As for Kirin, in my headcanons, he's heard about Corvo his. Whole. Life. When he was young, his brother couldn't stop talking about him. I mean, Corvo must be a legend in Karnaca, right? among the kids. That young lad, who won the Blade Verbana, and then became Royal Protector??? Everyone knows about him.

I like to think, when Kirin was at the Academy, that he saw Corvo! but like, for a couple of minutes, from afar. Corvo and Jessamine went there once to see how things were going, to see the prodigies of the Academy. Then, well, DH1 events, I think lots of people talked about it too, and that it was on the newspaper. At least the main events, like the murder of the Empress, Corvo escaping Coldridge? how young Emily came back on the throne. (And maybe Delilah talked about them too at some point? to warn the Coup Crew).

So yeah, Kirin was a bit excited to finally see the Royal Protector in his mansion, he would be able to witness his strength and see how close (or not) the rumors are to reality. Excited and curious, in fact. (I know I'm overreading/overanalyzing things, but I do think his tone is more joyful and sarcastic when talking to Corvo, compared to the more menacing one sometimes with Emily) (still obsessed with his "Perhaps you've lost a step with age my dear Corvo")

(also I always find it funny how he's like "you have your father's eyes >:3" like how do you know lmao, was it thanks to the wanted posters from 15 years ago? did you try to come up with something no matter how stupid it might be?)

Okay well, Royal Protector is in his mansion, time to have some fun! oh wait no, not this way, oh gosh he's already in the bedroom, not he's... well, you found me! let yourself be killed already no don't come i mean yes but no he's oh well he's here now and so close and so strong he managed to destroy a few soldiers on his way too, geez, he really is impressive. And how curious of him to suggest a partnership. Kirin accepted the offer, it was that or the electroshock machine so better this than losing his mind (Corvo keeps telling him he had a choice, but Kirin isn't fully convinced on this).

What helped too is, I don't think Kirin had a very good relationship with Breanna or Luca. He also has a letter where he states he doesn't really care about who's on the throne and's got nothing against the Kaldwin line (cf "An Unfinished Letter on Legacy").

Still nothing new but on the Wale, he stumbled upon Alex and was a bit surprised - oh, she was hiding here - and they slept in the same room. Of course Meagan wasn't happy with this, but she wanted to trust Corvo. She was trusting Corvo way more than she was actually trusting Kirin.

And that's how things started between them. As days passed by, Corvo was trying to gain Kirin's trust. They started to talk about anything and everything, at night, when they were alone together, and Kirin would open up more to him, little by little. Because, as much as he loves to talk about himself, I don't think this is about his very personal life.

Kirin was a bit reluctant at first. He knows Corvo's doing all this because he wants his trust (and genius), and not really because he's interested... right? but then it seemed Corvo was, in fact, interested.

When I first worked on all this, I was like 'maybe they could kiss before Corvo goes back to Dunwall?' but not anymore, because it was too short for them to really bond that much and such, so now it's a bit later! (I keep thinking about their first kiss every night and I'm not kidding, it's been a month maybe and not a single day passes by without me thinking about this someone helps)

In my headcanons, Kirin is aroace, and so very confused about his feelings. Everything feels so strange and new, what's happening to him?? what is he supposed to do with that? He doesn't like it. He doesn't like having feelings. It feels weak and pathetic. He's interested by Corvo, that is true, but calling it love? it seemed a bit too much, for a time. (Saying "I love you" to him used to be even more difficult too.)

As for Corvo, he's a lot confused as well, because he likes him, maybe? I mean, learning more about him was nice. "You're more human than I thought." And he missed their little conversations at night. So then, what exactly?

Still, they decide to give it a chance. They have nothing to lose, it seems. Maybe. Do they?

(And that's why Marisol will definitely talk about Adrian and Corvo with Kirin when they meet again, on how Adrian would have exploded if he saw his little brother dating his idol.)

If you want another fun fact/headcanon, Corvo loves to listen to Kirin playing violin and piano.

[kitcat992]

│Identity Saga │Narrative Discourse (My Kid)

Identity Saga

When I first started the Identity Saga, right after Infinity War, my main and primary desire was to build the relationship between Tony Stark and Peter Parker — knowing full well we'd never see it on the big screen (but not knowing just how badly TPTB would treat these two #theydeservedbetter) It's always great to jump into a fic where the foundations are pre-established with throw away lines, but I'd yet to see someone fully evolve their relationship step-by-step (and I can't blame a single soul for not taking up the task. It's *exhausting*, lmao.) And so, I set out to create a universe where the audience could witness the evolution of these two characters as they grow together into a strong bond.

It took two stories, about 600k words, and literal years spent laying down the narrative threads of "my kid." And of everything in this series, it remains my absolute favorite.

With the final installment about to begin, here's a brief recap of how we got there.

Identity Theft │ Chapter 1: Prologue

“Oh my god, Mr. Stark, this is like, the coolest thing ever!”

Tony rolled his eyes and rubbed his forehead, a tension headache quickly brimming behind his eyeballs.

“I know, kid. You’ve said that about thirty-six times now.”

“No, no no, it’s not that, it’s just…" Peter held the helmet in his hands as if it were gold, his eyes bright and wide, and his feet bouncing with excitement. "Dude, this is the coolest thing ever!”

Tony could feel his eyes roll to the back of his head. If he looked hard enough, he possibly  could've seen his own brain — throbbing with the growing headache that caffeine may or may not fix.

Excitement was always an element the kid brought along with him, anytime Tony invited him along to work in the lab. And as exhausting as it was to deal with, there was no denying how the unbridled glee managed to always brighten his otherwise sour mood.

But while he wasn’t necessarily expecting an in-depth discussion regarding the scientific findings on his latest project, he also wasn’t expecting a broken record to play on repeat. The kid was usually better than that.

Usually. 

“You say the word ‘coolest’ and ‘thing’ and ‘ever’ one more time Parker... " Tony massaged his forehead harder. "And I assure you this will be the last time you and DUM-E get to play patty-cake together.”

Peter’s head snapped up like a broken rubber band, and slowly, he put the helmet back down on the work desk below him.

“Wha-why-what…no. No, I want to — I just thought…” he repeatedly cleared his throat and nervously straightened his back. “Okay, so, I gotta know…how did you get the holographic chip to store facial data recognition?”

Tony scoffed, mildly amused. “Jesus kid, that’s the best question you can come up with? That part was borderline child's play.”

“Yeah, well, no, it’s just —” Peter stumbled over his words, scooting his stool closer to where Tony sat. And then closer after that. “Facial recognition typically uses bio metrics for its body measurements and calculations, to—to you know, refer to metrics related to human characteristics, but its used in access control, never memory stored control. And I can’t imagine a simple storage unit could hold all this information and relay it back to the recognition program in time to provide results, so…" Peter finally took a breath, "how'd you do it?"

Tony hummed, giving a short and sharp nod. If there was one thing he could always count on, it was that Parker could talk his head off when it came to science. And while he had days where he doubted supplying the kid with so much technology to support his vigilante heroism — six months ago, for example, when the Ferry Incident was still fresh in his mind — it was moments like this that renewed his confidence in the young lad.

He wouldn't admit it aloud, but it made him proud.

Or some mutated form of the emotion he hadn't quite figured it out yet.

Identity Theft │ Chapter 7: New Kid On the Block

A beat passed by before he looked over at Tony, a mixture of realization and recognition written across his features.  

“Son of a gun,” Steve muttered. “I think he’s right.”

“Wanda, Vision, you’re dismissed," Tony ordered, shooing his hand in their direction. "Retreat to the Quinjet and stay there. We can’t add any more fuel to this fire.”

The two didn’t need any further instructions. Vision flew Wanda and himself up into the sky, the back door of the jet already open with Natasha awaiting them.

Hovering out the door, she looked down at the scene below.

“Need backup now?” she asked, stepping aside as the two entered the aircraft.

“Yes.” Tony tilted his head to the side. “Parker — get over here.”

“Peter, up here first,” Natasha’s voice butted in.

Steve grabbed Tony's arm. “What are you—”

“Who knows what this atrocity can reflect back at us,” Tony interrupted him, and fast at that. “Do we really want a fifteen-foot tall walking rock wall with Captain America’s strength?”

“I dropped an areobridge on that kid. I saw him lift twenty-five tons," Steve mentioned, a hard shake of his head mixed with his words. "If his strength isn’t equal to mine, it’s better. You’re just giving this creature the advantage by bringing him into the fight.”

Tony's lips pursed with a smile. “Not with the idea I have in mind.”

Steve didn’t have a chance to argue. Peter had already shot two webs onto the Quinjet and pulled himself into the air, landing inside and next to Natasha with a visible thud.

They watched on the ground as the two exchanged a brief conservation. Natasha's fingers pointed at Steve and Tony all while Peter shrugged with a sincerity that could be seen down far away.

Ultimately, Peter dove out of the jet, a web sticking to the side as he lowered himself down to the island.

Peter landed gracefully in a squatting position, a single palm balancing himself on the ground.

“What was that about?” Tony furrowed his brows and pointed up to the jet.

“She, uhm, she…” Peter stood up, shrugging intently. “She wanted to make sure I was good coming over here. That's all.”

Tony’s face fell flat. His dumbfounded expression was all too visible with his Iron Man mask open. His eyes darted back and forth as he took in what he was told, his scowl growing more intense with realization.

“Romanoff, do not baby my kid!”

His stern warning was immediately cut short as he realized what he'd said.

And if he happened to not realize it, the look from Steve would've made him realize it.

“I mean — you know what I —" Tony clenched his teeth tight. "Damn it!”

There was silence over the comms. Only the honking traffic, roaring monster, and engines from the aircraft filled the space between.

Even Sam didn’t dare to joke.

Peter stood awkwardly in front of the two, his large mechanical eyes blinking more than a few times.

Steve cocked an eyebrow, and the corners of his lips twitched.

“You do what you want, Stark,” Natasha’s voice finally came through. “We’ll be patrolling the skies.”

If it were possible, Tony’s cheeks began to reflect his red Iron Man armor, his gloved hands rubbing at his forehead despite the pressure the metal put on his bones. It was only when a loud roar and gust of wind hit them — knocking Tony and Steve back and Peter forward — that he refocused his attention.

“Tony.” Steve stumbled to his feet. “You have a plan?”

Identity Theft │ Chapter 11: Avengers Disassembled

There was a pause.

Steve looked down to the coffee cup on the table, watching as the mess began to leak driblets onto the ground. One drop at a time, creating a small puddle on the marble floor. A mess that somebody, at some point, would need to clean up.

“You called him your kid.” Steve forced his eyes away from the dripping coffee, back to where Tony sat. His head tilted to the side, just narrowly. “Last week…out on the island…you called him your kid.”

The coffee kept dripping.

Tony barely craned his head around to look at Steve — close enough now that if he wanted to take a seat next to him on the couch, he could. If Tony hadn't been so confused, he would've made a run for the other sofa. Or jump straight down the stairs, need be. Whatever it meant to get Steve away from him.

Curiosity always did win when it came to Stark's. And Steve's out-of-the-blue comment was just enough to grab his attention.

"Your point?" Tony made a face that was caught between insulted and perplexed, and something else he was too tired to figure out.

Steve found himself leaning against the armrest of the sofa, slowly, enough that the movement didn't jostle the man sitting there.

“Tony…” Steve started to say. “Was he actually your son —?”

“No!” Tony's eyes were wide enough to fall onto the floor. Jesus, if that didn't get him to sober up quickly. "Christ, no, I didn't have — no!"

He definitely needed to go heavier on the whiskey. Tony brought a hand to his forehead, not realizing it was wet with coffee until it smeared against his temple. He cursed under his breath, rubbing the back of his hand roughly against his jeans before returning to a halfhearted temple massage.

This was exactly the shit he'd been worried about with Parker. Rumors, speculation, tabloid garbage nonsense that would spread like wildfire — this was part of why he wanted to keep Peter secret from the team.

A scoff shook his back. So much for that.

Despite Tony's outburst, Steve still seemed wary. His head tilted further to the side, his confusion deepening. All the more visible underneath the lack of sleep that coated his features.

It was a tired Captain America that Tony took pity on. His confusion was no different than Bambi on a dewy morning, lost and looking for answers. Glancing over at Steve — really looking at him — and Tony didn't understand how even the blues of his eyes had deepened with that confusion. It was almost enough to make him scoff again — because of course Rogers could pull off the Bambi eyes when he wanted to.

Screw it. It didn't matter now. It didn't matter what the team knew and what they didn't know.

It wasn't like Peter was around to worry about anymore.

"He wasn't...he wasn't my kid, no," Tony let out that scoff after all. "He’s been — he was— hanging around here. A lot. More often than I probably should have let him.”

Tony adjusted himself on the sofa, attempting to straighten his back in a way that would evoke poise they both knew he didn’t have right now. The sip of coffee he took only further deteriorated that attempt. The hand holding his mug began to tremble with the liquid he hadn't consumed in ages.

Identity Theft │ Chapter 14: Haste Makes Waste

Sam turned back to Steve, reluctantly, holding his stare for a minute. When he finally backed down, it was with a huff. So audible it may as well have been the thing that pushed his chair away.

He reached for it and rolled it back behind him, answering Steve only with a firm nod and a tight purse of his lips.

Any other day, and Tony would have said he was pouting. He may have even thrown out a joke, no different than Clint.

But the energy for jokes was energy he didn't have. And no amount of guzzling caffeine was going to fix that. Especially not after losing four vital team members on the impromptu to rescue mission that he still struggled to wrap his head around.

“Tony —”

The sound of his name cut through his thoughts like a bulldozer. Tony whirled around, his eyes springing wide open right as Steve open his mouth to speak.

“Hell no!” Tony practically yelled, viciously shaking his head at the very concept of Rogers benching him. “You don’t have a say in this one, Cap. I’m there. End of story." When Steve parted his lips to speak — a second attempt, at that — Tony trampled right over him. "I have a suit roaring to go, one that’ll kick them off their feet even with that damn nanite mist." Tony lowered his gaze with a fierceness reflecting back at Steve. Unmistakable as it crossed into his every facial feature. "I’m getting my kid back.”

Whatever Steve had tried hard to say was suddenly lost on his tongue. He sat quiet, his lips sealing shut after many attempts at getting his words out. His expression got caught somewhere between stunned and mild awe.

It didn’t go unnoticed that Tony called Peter ‘his kid’ again. Yet not even Clint dared to tease him about that.

“I...wasn’t going to argue with you over that,” Steve needlessly said, finding himself unable to hide the smile that tugged at the corner of his lips. “I wanted to make sure you had a plan before we attacked.”

Tony's gaze let up, slightly, just enough that the tension he felt wasn't bulging every muscle on his body. Quick to notice the attention he had drawn on himself, he opted to roll his eyes was exaggeratedly as possible.

“You know me, Rogers," Tony drawled out, folding both arms firmly over his chest. "My plan is to attack."

Identity Theft │ Chapter 16: Smoke and Mirrors

Almost robotically, Steve stepped to the side. Tony wouldn’t turn his back to him, he absolutely refused. His arm stayed gestured out, insisting that the man take the lead. He could have sworn he heard a scoff when they finally started walking; it was hard to say, the blood rushing in both ears made his hearing muffled.

Tony stayed directly behind him, his fingers digging into his palms, scratching the metal of his armor. They walked down the hallways in the opposite way Tony had come from, opposite of the trail he was following.

Which meant at their pace and direction, they’d be rounding the back of the building.

‘He’ll either lead you to Peter or kill you first. Which do you think it is, Stark?’

With every step, each footstep they made, his breathing came in harder, his lips tightly pursed. Tony had enough experience with crazy maniacs to know this wouldn’t work for his benefit. Dmitri wanted him dead. Peter was a ploy, bait — innocent, goddamn bait.

Tony had reached his tipping point long before they had even entered the base. A devouring inferno of thoughts began to splinter him apart. He took Peter. He had Peter. He probably hurt Peter – innocent, wanted-nothing-more-than-to-please-everyone Peter. This son of a bitch had broken into his company, tried to steal his money, took his kid — 

His control broke, snapping like a weak twig. Self-restraint gone with the wind, willpower lost in the heat of the moment, Tony charged forward.

The man whipped around as Tony yanked at his arm. “Ah-ck! Tony, what the hell are you —!”

Tony grabbed him, slamming him violently into the nearest wall.

“Tony, what —!”

Tony grabbed the side of the impostor’s face and smashed his head against the wall — once, twice, and then a third time. The light from his helmet barely illuminated the blood that trickled down from the bastard’s forehead. When he finished, Tony had the man’s hair clenched between his fingers, ensuring he wouldn’t move.

“Cap hasn’t worn those gloves since the battle of New York in 2012.” Tony pressed his face harder against the wall, the man’s cheek smothered against the damp metal. “Where the hell is my kid, Dmitri!?”

Tony couldn’t remember a time he spoke with such venom. His rage was a wicked tornado, building inside him, ready to cause destruction in its path. The blond hair stayed gripped in his hand, and he found himself squeezing harder when the sick fuck began to laugh — a light, airy chuckle falling between them.

Tony whipped Dmitri’s head back and —

WHAM!

Identity Theft │ Chapter 17: Grace Under Pressure

Tony had gotten halfway across the base when the damage to his Iron Man helmet finally pushed him over the edge. He ripped it off with a frustrated growl.

“Goddamn piece of junk.” His fingers dug deep into the device, tearing apart the lining and tossing it aside. He didn’t care about being gentle, the jagged, metal edges cutting deep into his exposed knuckles. He was already wasting time, the distraction of the broken helmet doing him no favors.

Within the eye-sockets, he grabbed the wires that contained two tiny LED lights and yanked them out. At least now he could be free of the dented helmet. The metal had been so caved in from his fight that it was putting pressure on his skull.

Tony smacked his palm against his chest, embedding the lights to his armor. The moment they attached, he resumed his search. There wasn’t any time to spare.

It didn’t take him long to find the trail of blood he'd initially been following. He couldn’t tell which way he headed in the base — left, right, south, north — all he knew was that he planned to follow the crude pathway until it gave him answers. His energy was fed by anger so intense, so hot that it starved away his undeniable anxiety.

When the smeared blood took a curve into an open room, Tony half expected to be led down another hallway. He instead came to a startling halt at the entrance. To his surprise, the room was a dead end. It was just that — a room.

What caught his attention was the reflection of Captain America’s shield, the red and blue standing out from the dreary darkness around them. It was directed right at him, attached to Steve’s back, telling him that the man was facing forward. Tony squinted, realizing that Steve’s attention was clearly focused on something — or someone — important.

He stood frozen in the doorway, listening intently to the sounds from within. The voice was so quiet he almost didn’t catch it.

Almost.

“Stay with me, soldier,” Steve spoke softly, his tone more delicate than Tony had ever heard it before. “Easy now, I got you, son.”

Tony furrowed his brows. It was the only part of him that he could feel move, his nerves paralyzing the rest of his muscles.

But he knew couldn’t have stood there long; Steve’s instincts kicked in quickly, his head turning over his shoulder when his presence was noticed.

He never said anything. It was probably for the best, Tony wasn’t sure if he would have heard him to begin with. Not over the pounding of his heartbeat, the blood rushing through his ears. Steve moved, just ever so slightly that both their flashlights gave sight to —

“Peter.” Tony’s breath lodged in his chest.

The kid was slumped forward, only held upright by the metal straps around his arms — Tony balked, they had him bolted against the wall. He was too far away to see if Peter’s eyes were open or not. It was too dark to see if he was even breathing, the intrusive thought making his stomach churn.

But he was there. No mind tricks, no sick psycho taking on his identity, it was him — Peter.

His kid.

Identity Theft │ Chapter 18: Homecoming

They were millimeters away from smashing through two automatic doors, moving faster than the technology could keep up with. Doctors, nurses, and techs poured through, squeezing in, some pushing each other aside as they rushed alongside the gurney.

Tony went to follow. His jaw clenched with a searing need to be involved, to be as close as he possibly could, to never lose sight of his kid ever, ever again.

Just as the doors were closing, a man stepped in front of him, latex gloves pressing heavily against his chest.

“Mr. Stark,” he started, “you can’t go in there.”

Tony shook his head, eyes staring past him and into the other room. “I have to — he’s my —”

“You can’t,” he firmly repeated.

The noise across from them seemed to increase, words mixing with obnoxious beeping and alarms that made his ears hurt.

Tony swallowed hard. “I need to —”

“You’re not sterile. You’re not even clean,” the man explained. “I need to ask that you leave.”

“No, I... I—”

“Mr. Stark.” His hand pushed harder, his voice more strict. “Back down.”

Tony didn’t have the time to argue. The man retreated, rushing away. Though in Tony's head he screamed mind to follow, his feet stayed glued to the ground, and he wasn’t sure what made him stay. He wasn’t the type of person to take orders, but this wasn’t about being submissive.

This was about knowing where his place was, what help he could and couldn’t provide.

He had done his part. He got Peter home, they completed their mission, now he needed to let his staff do the job he paid them for. He wasn’t any use in there.

It was out of his hands now.

Identity Theft │ Chapter 20: Family Ties

Clint sighed, knowing that was an understatement. In such a short time Wanda had formed a connection with Peter that everyone but himself was taken aback by.

Clint, however, saw it coming a mile away. Peter had filled a hole she had since she left Sovokia, and it was apparent why.

His grip tightened around the mug’s handle. “He reminds her a lot of her brother.”

“Reminds her?” Sam huffed wryly. “She’s practically taken on the role of his big sister.”

Rhodey didn’t look up from his screen as he said, “Then that makes you the annoying big brother.”

“Psh, whatever.” Sam waved him off. “Brother means I’m young. Old-man over here is pretty much the dad.”

Clint scoffed and set his coffee mug down in the kitchen sink. “Oh hell no. That’s all Stark. If anything, I’m the cool uncle.”

No one argued with his statement. Distantly, Clint wondered if Tony himself would argue with it if he were there.

He shook his head at the thought. As a father himself, he knew a dad when he saw one, related by blood or not. Tony had clearly developed something more than a mentor relationship with the kid, and he could deny that until his face turned blue; they all knew better.

After all, Tony called Parker his kid twice in front of them. They may have not said anything, but they heard it. 

Of all the changes they had gone through this past year, seeing Tony fall into such a parental role was one Clint hadn’t expected. It was nice. Dare he say it, Clint felt more relatable to Tony now more than ever. The billionaire somehow seemed more human, more like the dad side of him that lived away on a farm taking care of his own children.

It was just a shame that everyone else noticed it before Tony did himself. Clint could only hope that after all this, the man would accept that it was okay to get close to someone, that he and the kid were a good fit for each other.

After all this, they deserved some happiness in their lives.

Identity Theft │ Chapter 26: Building Blocks

Tony did, however, look at Peter's hand. And as he stared at those hands, he noted the sudden bout of anxiety that riddled Peter’s nerves. It was hard not too; he had seen it in himself too many times before.

“Well, I think it was more than just chloroform. It made me...” The flood of shame and fear that tinted Peter's voice came and went before Tony could call him out on it. “They had me against the wall. I couldn’t break the bands and they said they were using some experimental metal to hold me —”

“Adamantium,” Tony finished, the words escaping his mouth before he could stop himself. 

Peter eagerly sat up. “Dude, how do you know all this?”

Tony gestured another open palm in the air, signaling for him to be patient.

“Keep going.”

Peter sighed. He leaned back against the bed, his right arm gently and loosely wrapping around his midsection in hopes it would quell the pain that blossomed there.

“Mysterio, he used this...this gas on me. My arms were pinned, I couldn’t get the gas mask off. I think it knocked me out for a while. It was...” Peter’s voice dipped low, quiet. "I kept hallucinating. It was scary.”

Peter ducked his head, cheeks reddening with what Tony assumed could only be embarrassment. He could feel his blood pressure rising a bit higher, his heart rate spiking in a way that made his left arm twinge and tingle.

He remembered back in Germany when Peter referred to a sixty-five-foot tall Ant-Man as ‘scary.’ Suddenly this held so much more weight. They drugged the kid — his kid.

Anger that Tony hadn’t felt in days suddenly surged through him with a renewed fire.

“I’m sorry, Pete,” he said, soft and sympathetic.

Peter nodded, staying quiet.

Identity Theft │ Chapter 29: Breaking the Cycle of Shame

“Tony?” Pepper’s voice seemed distant, but her hand was firm on his shoulder, grounding him to reality. “Tony, are you okay?”

Tony blinked, his every thought in high definition, his mind seemingly caught between then and now. The crisp white colors to his bed-sheets filled his vision, his eyes slowly coming into focus until eventually he could see even the finer crinkles from his own pillowcase.

The overhead lights to their bedroom were bright from above, harsh in comparison to the gently rising orange sun coming from the room’s window. Pepper’s warm body was settled next to his, a weight that dipped the mattress low.

“Hey...” she softly said, leaning further into his vision. “Another nightmare?”

Tony shook his head, his mouth dry, slacked open. His heart beat fast in his chest despite never having been jolted awake, never having woken up with a scream or a shout.

He slowly managed to sit up from his resting position on his side, the goosebumps that traveled up his arms razor sharp.

“No. It was...” Tony shook his head, his hand running down the length of his face. “I had a dream.”

There was a heavy silence that fell between them, the rhythm of Pepper sweeping her hand across his arm the only indicator that time still existed. The fluorescent lights from above began to dim away, allowing the sunrise from outside to cast a golden ray of copper hues into the room, bringing with it a brand new day.

He took a shallow breath in as she stared at him, exhorted him silently, softly and without any words.

“We had a kid,” Tony explained, swallowing hard. “It felt so real.”

Identity Crisis│ Chapter 9: Gray Area

“I’m not...not taking responsibility for my part in the argument with Peter. At the end of the day, he’s a teenager, and teenagers don’t like being told what to do, right? That’s not even a question, God knows I was the worst teenager to exist on this earth, hell, this universe. When compared to me, he can only go up. Way up.” Tony tossed his sunglasses down onto the bistro table, worried that if he kept waving them around in the air, he’d end up snapping them in half. “The argument wasn’t really the problem — it was, but it wasn’t. The thing is...I know what I said right before it happened. Before he got upset. It was like looking in a mirror, five years ago...having heard someone say alien.”

For a moment, neither of them said anything.

For the first time since talking, Tony looked May head-on, exposed eyes telling her everything she needed to know.

“Damn,” she muttered, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “So...what’s his alien?”

Tony blew a deep breath of air through his cheeks, the few napkins still lying on their table tossing onto the ground.

“I brought up the whole...kidnapped, shish-kebabed, nearly dying thing,” Tony said, his voice heavy. “And by the way he reacted, I think it’s finally catching up to him.”

Surprisingly, May kept a straight face at the news. She looked to the left where the traffic passed by, reaching for the stem of her mimosa glass only to decide against it. Her unease, though, was a dead giveaway as she tapped her heel relentlessly against the ground.

“He did have a great distraction over the summer,” she mentioned, managing a small shrug. “Between hanging out with the World Renowned Avengers and going on a tour of the country with you, he didn’t really have time to let anything sink in.”

Tony stared ahead, nodding his head with little feeling.

May uncrossed her legs, the tapping finally coming to stop. “We said it was going to happen sooner or later, right?”

The reality of the situation was alerting, trickling into his brain in ways that he failed to make sense of. Tony’s eyes darted back over to May, a line in his forehead forming at the stress of it all.

“Yeah, but...” he trailed off, unsure of what else to say. But it wasn’t supposed to be now? But I thought we were in the clear?

But I don't know how to navigate this?

He sighed, giving his head a small shake.

Identity Crisis│ Chapter 10: Something Wicked This Way Comes

Tony balked at him, and then at the others — none of whom came to his rescue.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” he exhaled, holding two hands high in the air with the sun from the skylights bouncing off his purple-tinted frames. “Exactly when did this turn on me?”

“It hasn’t,” Rhodey finally stepped in, albeit too casually for Tony’s liking. “It’s just...you’ve been a bit of a mother hen around him, don’t you think?”

His eyes widened to the point that not even his sunglasses could cover them anymore.

“Mother hen?” Tony echoed.

“Oh lord,” Sam muttered, rubbing at his forehead. “Here we go.”

Tony plowed right over him. “Last I checked, I’m not licking my feathers and sitting on eggs on day —”

“Tones...” Rhodey gently interrupted, “you yelled at the kid for forgetting to eat his breakfast.”

Tony’s reply was instant.

“He passed out.”

“Yeah,” Rhodey tensely tossed back, “and how many times did I drag your sorry ass to a doctor because you decided coffee was a great substitute for protein?”

“Hey, you just said this wasn’t about me —”

“It’s not,” Rhodey insisted. “It’s about Peter.”

“Yeah, Peter,” Tony repeated, tempered frustration lining his voice. “The same Peter who almost died a few months ago, the same Peter who we all thought was dead. The same damn Peter who I bought a casket for. Or am I the only one that seems to remember that? That is what started all this, after all.”

Natasha scoffed, eyes locked on the table in front of her. “It started something, all right.”

Tony placed two hands firmly on the table, leaning over and into Natasha’s space until they were nearly face-to-face.

Natasha didn’t so much as flinch when she looked up at him.

“Mother hen,” she pressed, “take a breather. Come off those eggs every now and then.”

Tony stood up straight, swiveling his head around to lock eyes on every team member in the room. None disputed Natasha, instead choosing to stay quiet — some with heads bowed low like Bruce.

Tony pointed his thumb to his chest, grounding his teeth together. “You guys got a problem with how I’m handling my kid?”

“No one has a problem, Tony,” Steve chided, hands in the air placaintingly. “Just...be careful. We all see how hard you’re trying with Peter. But the more you try to pull him closer to you, the further you may end up pushing him away. Trust me, I’m seeing it happen with —”

One look from Tony and Steve immediately got the hint.

The name still wasn’t welcomed.

“...someone else,” he opted on saying.

The lack of anyone running to his aid was more than enough for Tony to realize they all felt the same way.

Traitors, he figured. Every last one of them.

He sighed so loud it blew cookie crumbles off the table, shrugging so dramatically his arms felt disconnected from the rest of his body.

Identity Crisis│ Chapter 15: Slithered Here From Hell

Tony managed a deep breath, pocketing his cell away in his blazer. He didn’t want to entertain the question with answers. Instead, he turned back to Clint, the archer noticeably softening despite his discontent with the role assigned.

“FRIDAY will automatically pull any suspicious footage off their records,” Tony explained. “But if you see anything that feels off, you’ll —”

“Tell you. Yeah, I got it, Tony.” Clint dropped his arms down to his side, pocketing his hands deep into his jean pockets. He stared down Tony with curiosity, a look of both concern and uncertainty reflecting in his eyes. “What I don’t get is what you plan to do with Norman while Nat hacks their servers for answers. The man doesn’t exactly seem like the type for tea and biscuits.”

It was quiet for a long moment before Tony carefully spoke up.

“I have some things I’ve been wanting to get off my chest.” Tony’s voice grew hoarse, tired. Months of secretly fighting against a conglomerate had started to wear on him, and they weren’t even close to winning yet. It took everything he had to keep going. “Now’s a good time as ever for good ‘ol Normie to listen.”

The piercing hum bouncing off the walls of the room seemed to intensify, combining with both the electricity that ran off consoles and devices, and his racing heartbeat that sent a ringing through his eardrums. Tony straightened his blazer one last time, a deep sniff pushing back any anxiety that began to rise in his nerves.

He had meant it. This was their one shot. And Tony wasn’t about to blow it, not now, not that so much was at stake.

Three weeks ago they had time, he could throw as many neglected subpoenas in OsCorp’s face as he wanted and know that tomorrow would still exist for another chance.

Now? Whatever dirty experiments they were running — even after SHIELD shut them down, even after the government warned them to stop — it had gotten to Peter.

They had gotten to his kid.

All Tony needed was those documents in hand, Oz Formula or not. After that, there’d be hell to pay.

Identity Crisis│ Chapter 15: Slithered Here From Hell

“So, I ask again…” Norman furrowed his brows, hesitating before reclining back in the chair. “Why are you here?”

Tony raised his eyes to meet Norman’s burrowing stare, a smirk curling at the edges of his mouth.

“For the kids,” he boasted simply. “Who are we without them, am I right?”

Norman huffed a slight, dry chuckle, giving the smallest nods along the way.

“Ah, yes, the OsCorp Internship Program,” he preened, a crease between his eyes telling Tony he hadn’t fully fallen for the set-up. Still, he continued on. “You know, my son Harrison is second lead to running that program.”

Tony adjusted himself in his seat, hoping the movement hid the eye-roll he was unable to stop himself from giving.

“I’m sure you’re very proud,” he acknowledged flatly.

Norman nodded, eyes settling, skin pulling tight in a few places.

“I recently became acquainted with an old friend of his,” he began to say, the pause that followed heavier than the stare he proceeded to give. “I think you know him — Peter Parker?”

The sound of the name assaulted Tony like a thousand pounds of shrapnel blasting through his chest cavity, hitting him harder than a bomb blowing through the fragile windows of an undersea bunker. He could feel the blood rush out from his face, his skin growing cold, his heart losing rhythm.

It was too much not to let Norman on, to not shoot glaring daggers his way — let him know that even speaking that name was a cardinal sin that could never be forgiven.

If his facade faltered in the second that passed, it wasn’t for lack of trying.

“The name is familiar, yes.” Tony's jaw tightened threateningly, a sound akin to a growl nearly escaping his throat.

Norman’s lips twisted into a small smile. Tony fought the urge to punch it right off his face.

“Very intelligent young man. Guided by the right hands, he could do wonders. Take this company right underneath me some day, assuming my son doesn’t do it first.” Norman’s tone was enough to have Tony grinding his teeth — lighthearted, interested, fascinated. Thrilled. He looked at Tony, really looked at him, hiding nothing beneath his features. “I tried getting him enrolled in the OsCorp Internship, but he unfortunately declined.”

“Sorry to break your heart,” Tony’s voice dipped dangerously low, raw and strained despite his best efforts. “He’s already in one.”

Tony made a face, something he was sure looked less impressionable than what he wanted. It was hard to stay neutral in the conversation. Less than six hours ago he discovered Peter’s impromptu, unapproved trip to OsCorp had resulted in something happening that could very well be poisoning him — or worse.

Now, in the same day, he managed to find out that Norman himself had made contact with the kid.

His kid.

Who, when all this was said and done with, would be getting a long lecture about hiding things from others. Like having a powwow with the man responsible for nearly killing them both, on multiple occasions.

Tony’s eyes briefly flitted away, a curse sitting on the tip of his tongue. He should’ve done more when he got that alert of Peter’s location in OsCorp. He knew then that trouble was afoot — he should’ve listened to his instincts.

“Mhm-hm.” Norman’s hum cut through the stifling silence. “I’m aware of his extra curricular activities. I looked into it — the Stark Internship.” He raised a single eyebrow. “Doesn’t exist.”

The words rang through the office like reverberating steel; harsh, frigid, striking a cord where it wasn’t wanted.

Things that had previously not added up in his calculations were suddenly growing crystal clear to Tony. Shinier than the near-empty glass of alcohol that sat discarded across from him.

“But other people…”

Peter hadn’t meant the Thompson kid at school.

He didn’t want that proof for himself.

Tony felt a sinking pit grow deep in his gut. Realization combined with hopeless understanding tore into his skin like a ravenous, feral beast, and his spine stiffened; a steel knife cutting straight into his windpipe.

Whatever Peter was keeping from him, whatever he was keeping secret — it was beyond them all at this point.

Tony could only hope that there wasn’t more he was hiding.

Identity Crisis│ Chapter 16: Web of Lies and Deceit

Tony rubbed his temples, his stock of patience quickly depleting.

“Up until an hour ago, the damn kid went off the grid,” he said, his attention falling back to his screen. “If Romanoff hadn’t dictated our destination when we clearly should have gone straight to Peter —”

“I talked some sense into you,” Natasha objected. “A superhero billionaire showing up to high-school right after a paranormal assault —”

“He’d be here.” Tony pursed his lips tightly. “Under our watch.”

“And you and him both would be prime suspect number one,” Natasha admonished.

“Yeah, okay, that —” Sam pointed a wagging finger in Natasha’s direction before quickly turning back to Tony, despite the man having his back to them all. “That mostly, but also — how’d he go off the grid if you’ve got a tracker in that panic watch of his?”

A growing headache had definitely bloomed into a full blown migraine, and this time, Tony couldn’t resist the eye roll that followed.

“It’s not a tracker unless he activates it.”

Steve’s response was instant. And firm.

“We know Peter’s home now.” With a deep breath, he adjusted his stance into a parade rest, hands locked tightly and securely behind his back. “We’re getting May Parker somewhere safe — he’ll be alone, we won’t have to worry about anyone else getting hurt. And until we figure out a plan, Clint’s got an eye on him. This is lining up to be in our favor. Like Tony said...we just have to act, and fast.”

The tension in the room didn’t ease. If anything, it grew.

Tony hung his head, rubbing dangerously hard at the knot forming along his neck. Things had gone from zero to sixty in an instant; he swore the tension in his shoulders was from the whiplash of it all. There had to be something he missed, something he failed to notice earlier.

The reflection of the screen could be seen along the glass surface the computer desk. Heavy as it felt, Tony lifted his head. Dread coiled tightly in the pit of his stomach, realizing with a sickening feeling that it simply didn't matter anymore. The how’s or why’s or when’s — the answers would need to come later.

First, he needed to help his kid.

From behind him, Natasha cleared her throat.

Tony craned his neck around, just as Steve broke free of his parade stance.

“Nat?” Steve stepped forward, brows furrowed. “What do you have for us?”

Identity Crisis│ Chapter 20: Parasite

Peter tried to stifle his cries, but each attempt left him shaking and gasping even worse than before. With each sob, Tony held him tighter, all but smothering him against his chest.

“I don’t — I don’t remember it.” Peter’s voice was muffled against the confines of Tony’s shirt. Still, Tony understood. “I don’t – I know I did bad things, I —! I know I hurt — hurt people, I —! I just...I don’t remember it, I swear. Mr. Stark, I swear, I don’t —!”

“I believe you.”

It was the truth. As God honest as Tony could ever be, the words slipping from his mouth without a single beat giving him a second to consider what was said.

It was the truth. And he felt ashamed he couldn’t say it sooner.

Tony pulled Peter away, hands cupping his cheeks and the smear of liquid that stained them. Tears had lightened the blood but also smudged it further along his face. Tony took his thumbs and moved what he could out of the way, his eyes never once straying from Peter.

“I believe you.” Tony eyes locked onto Peter’s so forcefully, that he couldn’t look away even if he had wanted to.

Tony needed that. He needed Peter to see the transparent honesty on his face, to know more than anything that he’d go to hell and back if it meant keeping the kid safe.

His kid.

Nothing would change that. And damn the universe for trying.

“We’re going to fix this, understood?” Tony insisted, intending to sound comforting but missing the mark completely. It had never been his specialty.

Peter stiffened, his whole body growing rigid in Tony’s grasp. The firmness in his voice must’ve been enough to trigger something, as his eyes averted and he moved to get away. Brows creased deeply and his gaze shot down, almost looking shameful.

He wasn’t having it. Tony rounded back on him — refusing to let go of him for even a second.

“Peter,” he started, staunchly. “I’m going to fix this. That’s a promise. One I intend to keep.”

Identity Crisis│ Chapter 26: Collateral Damage

“OsCorp monstrosity — up here!”

In the sky, Tony didn’t hesitate to shoot again. And again. Each repulsor blast kicking up dirt, leaving holes in its wake. Tearing up the ground with a vengeance.

A shrill cry of rage told him he’d pissed off the damn thing.

Tony pursed his lips and aimed his repulsor down below. Good.

“Why don’t you get the hell...” he slowly descended down, “off my kid!”

Peter shot his head up, his teeth barring in a snarl. The glisten of slime that regurgitated out of his mouth mirrored against the light from Tony’s arc reactor. The decaying matter steamed with brume as it fell down his chin.

“H͇e͍͕’̳͈̦s̲̹̥ͅsͫcc̯͇̫̾̄͌r̥̖̮̽̐͊ë̗̮́̓̉ͅa̟̭͐ͭͩͅm̟̥̌ͭm̠͙̑̐m͓̦̈́̆i̖̯ͭ͆n̰̽ǵ̺g̘͋ḡ̖…̘̼̦̠̺.̭̠͈͍.̳̤͈̠.̝̱̠.̦͖.̩͖.̺.̮" Peter’s lips were never seen moving underneath the pulsating excrescence. The voice didn’t come from his throat.“Y̽ȯu̇ ͐̿ẅ̂i͒́l͊ͮ̏l͆ͭ͒ t̒ͮ͐̓oͮ̀̓̈́o͗ͫͤ̾o͑̊̏̆̏o͆͒ͥ̚̚.̭̠͈͍.̳̤͈̠.̝̱̠.̦͖.̩͖.̺.̮"

Tony grounded his teeth, a blaze of rage following the next blast of repulsor that lit up the jungle. The electricity burned as it made contact with the symbiote, small pits of fire quickly lighting the grass up in flames.

Tony didn’t stop.

He wouldn’t stop.

Couldn’t stop.

Not until he had Peter back.

Identity Crisis│ Chapter 27: Valley of the Shadow of Death

Tony spun around, his repulsor-gloved fist landing squarely in Steve’s jaw.

The impact was enough to send Steve stumbling back.

Tony didn’t look back at the damage he’d cause. Not even as Steve smeared the back of his hand against the blood that stained his lips.

He made it five long strides down the hall before Bruce purposefully stepped in his way.

“Tony,” Bruce started, both hands outright — the syringe stayed tucked in his shirt pocket. Tony looked at him as if he’d lost his goddamn mind. “You need to calm down —”

“Sedate yourself, Banner,” Tony murmured, pushing him aside — and using little to no effort to do so. “I’m getting my kid back.”

Suddenly, two hands clawed at the back of his shirt. Tony cursed as Steve spun him around for the umpteenth goddamn time, nearly ripping his shirt right off.

“It won’t be Peter, Tony!” Steve stressed, clenching the material of his shirt against his shoulders, desperate to ground him back to reality. “You know that! You know that thing will kill everyone — you know Peter wouldn’t want that!”

There was something raw in his voice that took Tony’s breath away. Steve’s eyes were locked on his, fiercely unmoving.

The blue in them was burning.

“He’s gone, Tony,” Steve stressed, hands still grasping the front of his shirt, using it to shake Tony hard enough to rattle his teeth. “He’s gon—!”

Identity Crisis│ Chapter 29: Rebirth

“Mr. Stark, why’d you…?” Peter’s mouth moved, but for a moment, no sounds came out. He tore his gaze away from his wrist, looking at Tony as he swallowed hard to get his tongue working again. “I mean...why’d you do all this?”

Tony quirked an eyebrow, high. “Do what?”

It wasn’t asked out of annoyance, it wasn’t even asked out of exasperation. It sounded more like Tony needed clarification — and rightfully so, Peter realized, as he played with the fringes of his blanket. Feeling disturbingly vulnerable.

It wasn’t a matter of what Mr. Stark had done for him. It was a matter of what he hadn’t done.

Gave him a suit, gave him a means to be Spider-Man. Went against SHIELD to rescue him from a bunker under the sea — barely months after the Accords were dismantled, barely months after the Avengers were already on thin ice with the agency that oversaw their superhero doings.

Gave him a means to train, to hone in his abilities. Gave him a second home.

Never gave up on him.

Not even when he yelled, said hurtful things, did hurtful things. Not even when things were at their bleakest did he ever give up on Peter. Not even when Peter felt like giving up on himself.

“You went…” Peter didn’t realize his throat had grown tight until he had to force out his next words, “you went way out of your way for me.”

Little crumbles of wool piled up beneath Peter’s fingers as he picked at the edges of the blanket.

“That’s an odd way of saying thank you for saving my life, but I’ll take it,” Tony jested, a weathered smirk pulling at his lips.

Peter wasn’t able to find the same humor in everything.

“I mean, you didn’t have to…” Peter slammed his mouth closed, unsure of what to say that would do the situation justice. Words just weren’t suited for this. “You didn’t have to...do...all that.”

Luckily for him, Tony was fluent in Nervous-Peter-Parker talk. He understood the unspoken long before Peter had said a thing.

“Oh yes, we sure did,” he tossed back. “A sentient abomination pummeling Hulk twenty floors down a Vibranium building? Fortunately for you, that’s an Avengers level threat.”

Peter’s eyes briefly grew wide at the mention of the Hulk. He’d come back around to ‘pummeled through a Vibranium building’ another time. There was only so much even his brain could absorb at one given time, towering IQ or not.

“Well, yeah, but…” Peter shook his head to clear away the shock. “I mean...you didn’t have to...you could have —”

“Eliminate the threat?” Tony shook his head right back at him. “Not in a million years.”

Peter made a face — if he came off as insulted, it was beyond his control. The confusion had him by the reins and held him tighter than the grip he had on the blanket beneath him. If his hand squeezed any harder, the wool would combust into a million little fibers.

“Venom killed people,” Peter’s voice grew dark, rueful. “I killed —”

“You didn’t touch a soul.”

The moment Peter heard Tony speak, all of the air swept from his lungs. There was a firmness in his voice, so hard and powerful that Peter was sure he never never, ever heard the man speak in such a way.

“That wasn’t you,” Tony insisted, not sounding like he was trying to convince Peter — not even sounding like he was trying to convince himself.

Rather, he spoke the facts. Talking as if the sky were blue and the grass was green.

There was a lot about Mr. Stark that Peter had yet to learn, but there was one thing he always knew — long before he ever met the man. If Tony Stark said something was true...it was true. The sky was blue and the grass was green.

Still.

“You didn’t have to…” Peter’s eyes flittered away. “You could’ve let SHIELD take me. Or the government. You could’ve...done it yourself.” Peter decided eliminate the threat didn’t need to be said twice. But it still rung in his head, even as his eyes drifted up to meet Tony’s. “Why?”

Peter found himself looking at Tony’s injured arm, where his hand was gloved and a sleeve made of technology covered the limb from fingers to shoulder. The lights dancing up the length of the limb had slowed down, immensely, making Peter wonder if it really matched the pulse beneath it or if it was just some kind of effect for show.

When he returned his gaze to Tony, he found himself doubting that theory. The calm in Tony’s face, the restful stance as he stared at Peter and no where else but Peter — there wasn’t any panic to be seen, no stress or trouble that could be discerned.

His heartbeat was calm, his pulse peaceful. It was only when silence briefly took their conversation that Peter realized that same calm had radiated towards him, soothing each beat of his own heart.

“Because…” Tony smiled, slowly, until the grin cracked the lines around his weary eyes. “You’re my kid.”

A breeze blew the curtains back, and the sun swelled through the window — just for a moment, just long enough for Tony to speak.

Peter went to say something, but only took in a breath instead, the fresh air crisp as it hit his lungs.

He heard the words. But he heard what was behind them as well.

Three words spoken, three words not.

‘You’re my kid.’

Tony smiled at him.

‘I love you.’

Peter smiled back.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 299: No Chains Left

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “and then AFO broke out all of the inmates from six other prisons and took a nap. well anyways, here’s the hospital angst.” Kacchan woke up two days later and was all, “WAIT BUT HOW ARE DEKU AND TODOROKI AND ALL OF THE OTHER CHARACTERS EXCEPT IIDA DOING” and then we cut to Shouto’s room where the other U.A. kids were sitting around being Mutually Traumatized and giving each other moral support and such. Everyone was alll, “...”, and then the rest of the Todofam showed up, INCLUDING POSSIBLY REI?! which, omg. The chapter ended with Kacchan STOMPING THROUGH THE HALLS all “WHADDYA MEAN DEKU HASN’T WOKEN UP YET”, dragging along Satou and Mineta behind him, fueled by the power of ALL OF THE FUCKS HE NOW GIVES. He gives so many fucks now you guys. This boy cares so much he can probably deduct it on his taxes.

Today on BnHA: SPEAKING OF PEOPLE WHO GIVE A LOT OF FUCKS, the story cuts abruptly to Hawks, freshly recovering from his near-death experience, and pondering the threads that have weaved the tapestry of his life and led him to this moment. Basically he grew up in poverty with his Jerk Dad and Jerk Mom until his dad got arrested one day and his mom sent him off to go Find Money Or Something, and so he rescued a busload of people and found himself a new career. Back in the present day, Hawks and Jeanist ride around town in Jeanist’s Jamborghini having awkward encounters with civilians in a country on the brink of social collapse, and visiting Hawks’s mother’s home. Hawks is all “I know from an outsider’s perspective it must look like my life currently sucks, but now that the HPSC is gone, my public image is shot, and my parents are finally out of my life, I’m actually feeling SURPRISINGLY GOOD.” Anyway so he’s gonna go meet up with Endeavor now, and p.s. this chapter was fucking fantastic though, damn.

oh my god?? is this Hawks narration?? something about him growing up watching the heroes on TV and thinking of them as fictional characters

okay I scrolled down a little bit more to see the rest of that “Keigo” panel, and wow

this is basically a shed. poor boy definitely grew up rough. let me tell you guys, I came in here ready for some BakuDeku shenanigans; I was not prepared for Hawks Flashback Angst. I AM HERE FOR IT, but also wow I gotta brace myself now lol

HELLO MISTER HAWKS’S JERK DAD, SIR

BnHA sure does have an array of Jerk Dads, doesn’t it. makes me appreciate characters like Masaru and JirouDad all the more for bucking the trend

anyway. so Horikoshi, you really thought that one itty bitty chapter of hospital catharsis would be enough to calm us all before you went right back to showing us child abuse huh. my god man can we rest

BABY HAWKS

swear to god this kid can’t be more than five or six, and yet he has this completely blank look on his face even with his dad looming over him being all threatening and shit. like he’s shut down his emotions to protect himself. imagine what has to happen to a child for him to have learned this at such a young age. fuck

AND MEANWHILE THIS GUY

don’t mingle with humans?? not “other” humans, just humans?? what is this implying here?? and also holy shit Hawks definitely didn’t inherit his looks from his dad orz

then again he doesn’t really bear much of a resemblance to his strung-out mom here either

omg omg omg. and this child is basically trapped here in this environment with these two people. this explains a SHITLOAD about Hawks’s personality though you guys. his ability to completely separate his real thoughts from the face he presents to the outside world. his pragmatic approach to analyzing and solving problems. his layers of emotional walls. turns out almost none of that came from the HPSC training -- that was all learned hands-on in his own personal do-or-die survival nightmare childhood!! oh, boy

and small wonder then that he latched on to Endeavor so strongly if he really is the one who brought down his dad and inadvertently saved him from this. also, just putting this out there, I know people are always talking about him and Dabi being foils, and I think it’s very interesting how Touya grew up in a household where he saw firsthand the dark side of hero society, and so ended up becoming a villain in order to bring it down. whereas young Keigo had almost the exact opposite experience, growing up experiencing the dark side of villain society and becoming a hero in order to bring about a world where no one else has to experience that. just. both of them are so determined not to become their fathers. some interesting parallels there

so Hawks was sort of an accident after his parents had “thanks for helping me not get caught after I killed that guy” sex, and now this little boy is growing up in squalor and being beaten by his father for things like Sitting In The Wrong Out-Of-The-Way Corner Trying Not To Be A Bother To Anybody. holy fuck. this is so rough to read through you guys

wait so does Jerk Dad have a an eyeball manipulation quirk?? because he doesn’t have the wings like his son, but wth are these things??

this presumably also means that Keigo has never been to school or anything either. he basically doesn’t exist. he thinks heroes are fictional characters, he doesn’t realize that they’re real people. these are people who could help him if he could escape and find them, but he doesn’t know, and they don’t know about him

OH MY GOD HE’S JUST SITTING IN HIS CORNER HUGGLING HIS ENDEAVOR PLUSH OH MY GOD

how could this child possibly have an anti-fandom when he’s done NOTHING WRONG HIS ENTIRE LIFE. huh. just explain that to me. lol I mean I’m not looking to pick a fight with anyone, but also, MAYBE I AM, idk?? this kid has gotten me all riled up lmao

anyways, Protect Keigo 2021, and thank you Horikoshi for these three very terrible pages. I am pleased to inform you that you’ve effectively gotten your point across and you may now commence saving this kid already

YAY

oh no, Keigo’s dumbass jerk dad tried to steal a car and the popo nabbed his ass and now his mom can’t just sit around neglecting her VERY YOUNG SON all day long, oh horrors. sorry lady my tiny violin is on backorder. just imagine that I’m playing a very sarcastic song on it for you

anyway so what are you gonna do now, abandon him? I can hardly imagine he’d be worse off, if anything it might be a near-instant improvement

LMAO HE’S ALL “WAIT WHAT ENDEAVOR’S A REAL FUCKING DUDE?!”

AND THEY SAY THAT A HERO CAN SAVE US~~~~ I’M NOT GONNA STAND HERE AND WAAAAAIT~~~~~ I’LL HOLD ONTO THE WINGS OF THE EAGLES, WATCH AS WE ALL FLY AWAAAAAAY~~~~

lol what a randomly pivotal moment in his young life. TIME TO GO MAKE THESE MEMES INTO DREAMS YOUNG ONE

anyway so his mom freaked out and grabbed him and they wound up at a train station with her TELLING HIM TO GO GET HER SOME MONEY, oh my god. SURE MOM LEMME JUST WALTZ RIGHT ON DOWN TO THE “JOBS FOR FIVE-YEAR-OLDS” STORE AND TELL THEM I NEED SOME CASH. ffff manifesting someone to come help him in 3... 2...

...

SIGH, JUST GO RESCUE THE PEOPLE FROM THE BUS, KEIGO. is this the outfit he was wearing when that happened?? it must be, right?? I can’t imagine them surviving more than a couple days out here unless this starts getting REALLY dark in a way I know that even Horikoshi won’t explore, so yeah. cut to the HPSC now please. never thought we’d be glad to see them. I mean sure, it may be an “out of the frying pan...” case, but good god

THANK YOU!!

and I guess it was his mom’s eyeball quirk then. anyway, whatever, see you again never, hopefully. lol oh man. thaaaat, was upsetting. need to center myself here for a sec. NAMASTE

OH YAY THE PRESENT

so we cut from Baby Hawks Angst straight to Present Day Hawks Angst, huh. not that this exhausted and traumatized lil lad isn’t still a baby to me too, I’ll have you know

BEST JEANIST, ALWAYS WITH THE JOKES

“WHEW, THOUGHT YOU DIED ON ME FOR A SEC THERE KID.” lmao. Caleb will no doubt ruin this by making his word choice all stiffly formal as usual, so I’m just going to treasure this “WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT, I’M FRESH OUT OF FUCKS” version of Jeanist while I can

look at him, driving his Jeanistmobile

again, is it any wonder Kacchan was bitching about Endeavor’s dinky little car when he was used to riding around town in style like this. anyone else staring at this panel trying to figure out how this car is somehow secretly made of jeans

NOOOOO

FUCK YOU DABI LMAO. PUTTING THESE VOICE ACTORS OUT OF A JOB ONE BY ONE

anyway so Jeanist is all “GOOD THING IT’S THE FUTURE AND WE’RE SO GOOD AT MEDICAL SCIENCE” to handwave how Hawks went from one step shy of being a very handsome corpse, to sitting around texting Jeanist in a car all of two days later

OH MY GOD, AND FINALLY AN EXPLANATION FOR THIS

wait a minute. I’m so confused lmfao. soooo, was Hawks all “anyway, here’s Jeanist’s dead body, you can examine it but please don’t look at him too closely and also I’m gonna need that back unharmed.” how tf did you pull that off lmao

(ETA: also isn’t this technically confirmation of the ol’ Noumu Jeanist theory lol. I’m gonna go ahead and say it is.)

NO BUT PLEASE, CONTINUE. I unironically love reading Horikoshi’s overly convoluted “SEE IT’S NOT A PLOT HOLE” explanations

lkldslfk so wait, you’re telling me Hawks convinced Dabi and the League to put Jeanist’s body in storage, and basically just hoped they wouldn’t use him for any experiments until he could put his plan into action and have the HPSC’s people break in and find and revive him?? WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG. A FOOLPROOF PLAN IF I’VE EVER HEARD ONE

fff this man really asked Jeanist to risk it all to prop up his little cover story, and Jeanist was all “sure why not” omfg. anyways, thanks for recapping all of this out loud for no particular reason in your car conversation you two

LMAO NOW WHAT

TROUBLE YOU SAY? GOOD THING THE NEW NUMBER ONE HERO IS ON THE JOB THEN

okay no it’s just some random thugs strolling around terrorizing the downtown. fuck ‘em. so Jeanist is making short work of them now

uh oh

won’t come? not can’t, but won’t?? what???

WOW

well I guess that makes the local heroes A BUNCH OF SHITHEADS now doesn’t it?? jesus

and okay, serious question, if the cops are spread too thin and the heroes have literally walked out on the job, what exactly is stopping everyone from deciding to use their quirks to defend themselves, legal or not? nothing, as far as I can tell. society just got a hell of a lot more chaotic

anyway so this is an interesting panel here

man, Dabi really did pull it off, didn’t he. well anyway so here’s that better world all of the villains were wanting, you guys! isn’t it so great?? everyone’s terrified and angry and losing hope and society is inches away from collapsing into total anarchy! but hey, at least we exposed the number one hero as a hypocrite

anyway so what are these guys up to

fucking hell, he’s visiting his mom. I really wasn’t prepared to commit this much emotional energy towards reading this chapter today. BUT VERY WELL, WE PRESS ON

?? wait she’s not there?

is this supposed to explain how Dabi knew who Hawks really was? except that there’s the little matter of how he even know where to find his mother in the first place. feels like we’re still missing something there, but oh well

OH MY GOD

RHA I TAKE BACK EVERY WORD I EVER SPOKE AGAINST YOU. YOU ARE A SCANLATION GROUP FILLED WITH ANGELS LMAO. I WILL TAKE THIS PANEL IN MY HANDS, AND TREASURE IT AND KEEP IT SAFE

ANYWAY, BECAUSE MY TIRED BIRD SON’S LIFE SUCKED SO MUCH ALREADY, IT TURNS OUT HE’S ACTUALLY PLEASED WITH THIS NEW TURN OF EVENTS LOL HOW ABOUT THAT

GOOD FOR YOU BBY. YOU GO OUT THERE AND BE YOUR OWN PERSON

and in all seriousness, I love that identity he chooses -- chooses, because it actually is him making a choice now, possibly for the very first time in his life -- is “guy who helps people”, though. it really is nothing short of miraculous that he held on to that kind of optimism and desire to do good even with everything he’s been through. there were so many times he could have chosen to turn his back on the world in retaliation for the way it treated him. but he didn’t!! and here he is now, finally free, and what he wants to do with the rest of his life now is simply to help others. anyway please excuse me for a moment, I need to go find some sort of basket or a big vase to put all of my fresh new Hawks Feels in, pardonne-moi

YEAH BOIIIIII

“FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS, MISTER JEANIST, WHERE DID YOU FIND YOUSELF THAT SWEETASS CAR.” hey, all I’m saying is if this boy’s wings really aren’t growing back, he’s gonna need to find himself a new means of transportation y’know?

oh my god you guys it’s a flashback to his mom buying him the Endeavor plushie when he was like two because, and I quote, ALL MIGHT WAS TOO EXPENSIVE

oh my god oh my god. my boy out here with a new lease on life finding hope in the darkest of times

wasn’t your throat supposed to be all fucked up lmao. Horikoshi was suddenly all “oh shit the VAs are gonna be pissed at me if I keep this up huh”

“that’s why Bubaigawara was such a great guy” motherfucker IT IS A TERRIBLE DAY FOR RAIN. FORECAST SAID NOTHING ABOUT THIS

:’)

yes ma’am. yes indeed. confirmed, I really will straight up fight some motherfuckers for this child. well not really, but YOU KEEP YOUR DISCOURSE OFF MY LAWN AND OUT OF MY BLOG YOU HEAR. THIS IS A HAWKS-FRIENDLY SPACE. WE RESPECT TAKAMI KEIGO IN THESE STREETS

and he’s saying (or is he thinking?? what a weirdly shaped speech bubble this is) that even if what Dabi said about the Todoroki household is true, “I’m not sure it’s the same now.” which happens to be ABSOLUTELY CORRECT. man this whole chapter really is all about saying “fuck the past” and moving forward and I am living for it

SON!!!!

“the first step is at my beginning” fklkjlk. what an iconic fucking line??

AND HIS WINGS!!!! THEY ACTUALLY ARE GROWING BACK AHHHHHHH. “PUT A RAINCHECK ON THAT CAR, JEANIST-SAN.” THE HAWKSMOBILE CAN WAIT, RIGHT NOW HE HAS TO GO INSERT HIMSELF BACK INTO THE TODODRAMA WHETHER THEY LIKE IT OR NOT

you guys. I came here ready for some BAKUDEKU HOSPITAL ANGST, and I got DIDDLY SHIT of that, and none of my other kids were even in this chapter, but!!! ASK ME IF I CARE LMAO omg. because bird son is hanging with his new best friend, and he’s out here Finding Himself and picking up the pieces and putting them back together stronger than ever because RESILIENCE HAS A NAME, AND IT’S SPELLED H-A-W-K-S, and you guys. profound, my love for this child. holy shit. hey google, play Silence by Marshmello

[cryptidofthekeys]

Galactic Guardians - Chapter 1

This is gonna be stories for my own lad I created based off Sun/Moon/Eclipse, its basically a fusion of the boys fjkgdldfks I wanna say right now before the story begins, things are subject to change about this lad, I changed a few things with their appearance, I’ll explain more bout that at the end and I’ll link its description too

I guess I’m sticking with that as the title, I don’t have anything else but its technically kinda fitting considering Galaxy IS in fact a guardian, in more ways than one

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Blood and Death Mention

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You were packing up your things for tonight, you had been talking about it to your friends all week long and they wanted to come along with you, you had all been planning to finally explore The Mega Pizzaplex, after all, it had been MANY years since the place was burnt and shut down, Fazbear tried to open up again but they failed for once, Fazbear Entertainment had finally failed in re-opening another place, it was a complete shock to everyone considering how many times that place has shut down and reopened.

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But, even though most of the place was burnt and lost to the flames, there were still remains of the building left, perhaps even animatronics left behind! You and your friends wanted to have some fun and go exploring, see what you all could find in the wreckage, you didn’t expect to find too many things but you didn’t know, you packed up your flashlight, a camcorder, now sure you could just take your phone but you liked the aesthetic of the camcorders better, it’d make for a better video later on down the line.

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As you finished packing your things, you looked to your phone as it buzzed, it was your friends in the group chat asking if one another was ready for tonight, you saw the replies saying yes and joking around, or some hoping they all found something cool amongst the rubble, you texted back a quick yeah and that you hoped you could find an actual working animatronic there, your friends told you not to get your hopes up too much for that which was fair because the place had been closed for who knows how many years at this point, even if there was a functioning animatronic left behind, its battery probably long died out, probably got rusted as well but either way.

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You were excited to get out there and document the place, you had started talking about the rumors with your friends now… [ Do any of you actually believe those rumors? Like, about Fazbear’s? ] You saw most of them didn’t know really but they didn’t seem to be against entertaining that sorta idea, in fact that seemed to excite them all more, Fazbear Entertainment had always been one of the most infamously shady companies to exist, they had their deep dark secrets, more so than any other companies it seemed.

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Covering up most things, people going missing, mostly children it seemed… Weird rumors the place might even be haunted! Fazbear said that The Mega Pizzaplex was not haunted nor were any of the previous locations, that was just some folktale to try and scare off the customers and those stories and rumors were to be ignored, but you all had your suspicions, after all that company had gotten s o many lawsuits, lawsuit after lawsuit, you had texted back [ I wonder how those fuckers ever stayed in business lmao ] to which your friends all put back a lmao, most talking about fraud, embezzlement, etc. 

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All of which sounds right up Fazbear’s alley if you were being honest, after a bit of goofing off and joking around, your friends said they were going to go and get ready that they’d see you tonight, you texted back the same and then that was that, you took a deep breath, there was excitement but also a hint of nervousness… You weren’t sure why you had a twinge of nervousness but you simply shrugged it off, you looked up to the time, you had a good hour to kill before actually going, you had all planned to go around eight o’clock.

. . .

You decided to eat some food and then just messed around, playing some video games to pass the time along. Eventually, after getting a little too distracted playing some games, you looked down at your phone and checked the time, eyes widening “...SHIT! I’m going to be late!” You muttered some profanities as you quickly jumped up, grabbing your bag, slinging it over your shoulder and then placing your phone in your pocket, you quickly sprinted out the door, slamming it closed behind you, you practically ran all the way to where the building once resided.

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It took you a long while and by the time you got there you were already out of breath, you noticed your friends waiting by the large fence, once one of them spotted you they called out. “Hey (Y/N)! It’s about time! What took you so long?” You apologized quickly “Sorry! I got distracted…! But I’m here now, are we all ready?” You were still taking some deep breaths and your friends seemed to wait for you to catch your breath, then they all agreed, most of them had just taken their phones.

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You quickly pulled out the one you brought, one of your friends raising a brow “You brought a camcorder?” One of them asked to which you grinned and nodded “It’ll make a video look better! Kinda like one of those found footage tapes …Except I’m uh not planning on going missing of course” Your friend laughed at that and nodded “Yeah I don’t think any of us have plans of going missing” The others agreed with that, after grabbing your flashlight you then quickly switched on the camera and started recording, all your friends waving into the device and making silly faces or poses. After that you turned the camera toward yourself, a grin on your face

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“Let’s go see what we can find! Maybe some working animatronics” And then your friends chimed in “Or maybe some remains, oooh scary~!” Another one spoke up “Yeah, cause everybody knows the rumors and stories behind Fazfuck Entertainment, corporate scumbags” You and the others snickered at that, and then you were all off, one of your friends had brought some bolt cutters, they cut some of the fence up in order for all to get in.

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After all, from where you all were now, you could see no signs of any building, er… Well remains anyways, in fact this place looked more so like nothing with just a giant face surrounding the four corners, a large forest had grown here, overgrowth taking over where the Pizzaplex once stood, nature worked in interesting ways, even after a parking lot and buildings had been built, if you gave them a chance or enough time then the plants would spread and if you let them, they’d take over the area… 

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You went first, recording around the area, not for any particular reason, it just looked pretty! You tilted your camera up to look at the huge trees that stood tall and proud over the area, your friends making little comments about how pretty this place looked, some saying it was creepy “Mm, a little bit of both to be honest… it’s pretty and creepy” You spoke up as you then continued looking around, for the most part there was nothing and then your friends suggested a split up, one of them making a face in response to that.

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“...Do you want us to die? That’s such a bad move, literally every horror movie proves that!” The other rolled their eyes, playfully pushing the other “Oh lighten up, this isn’t a horror movie…! You watch too many of those, besides, we’ll cover more ground, probably find this place faster too” You nodded “Sounds good to me” Everyone else agreed much to the horror movie junkie’s dismay, you all split up in different directions, you continued on ahead in the direction you had already been walking, pointing your camera back to your face.

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You began to just talk about the rumors to the camera, telling the stories of Fazbear Entertainment, just going on a full ramble about the place as the camera recorded, it’d give others any context if you ever uploaded this video who might not know anything about the company, overall, the walk was incredibly boring, you heard a few things rustling in the bushes that had startled you, prompting you to quickly turn your camera only to find some squirrels messing around, or the occasional Raccoon, or multiple more like, glowing eyes falling on your which you wouldn’t deny.

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It unnerved you to have their eyes on you but they never stayed too long, quickly heading back into the forest, you eventually sighed, laughing slightly “I’m way too jumpy, I swear…” …Oh well, it’d look funny on camera later, you walked around and found literally nothing, not even any scraps of the building or animatronics, you were growing frustrated, even venting your frustrations a bit to the camera.

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“I’m just gonna turn this thing off til we find something, don’t wanna waste battery” You told the camera before pointing it back toward you, giving a wave before finally switching it off, you then quickly switched the flashlight on so you could actually see, shining the light around, it was just more forest… Large trees looming over you, the place was very much overgrown, that much was obvious, vines and plants of all kind overtook this area long ago, nobody bothered to trim it down, there really was no point in it.

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Especially since Fazbear’s wouldn’t be re-opening or anything like that, or well not any time soon anyways, you had a funny feeling eventually they would try again but not for a long while, either way, you didn’t care, you just came out here for the adventure really, you didn’t care about getting dirt on Fazbear Entertainment, they had enough dirt on them anyways, you just thought it’d be cool to find any remains of the place, especially an animatronic, you wanted to see one up close and personal.

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After a long bit of walking, you saw one of your friends in the distance, waving you over, you quickly ran over to them “Something wrong?” They seemed excited, a large grin on their face “Found it, come on! I already got the others, I just came out here to find you!” You grinned now, excited “Sweet!” You quickly switched your camera on, pointing it over to your friend who grabbed at it, just holding it “Found it, you fuckers ready to see some fun shit finally? Instead of just forest and animals, well you better be!” 

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Your friend exclaimed, releasing the camera, you laughed a little as they quickly sped off, you chasing behind them, the camera bouncing up and down much like one of those found footage type shows, running when the monster is after them, except this was just out of excitement, you didn’t expect to see any monsters at all, after all… It was just a place with a bunch of robots, nothing monstrous about robots! Eventually the both of you finally made it to the place in question, you gasped as you tilted your camera up, there were actually some rather large remains to the building, some bits looked like pillars even!

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“Woah… Holy shit…!” You muttered, making sure to zoom your camera in so it could see the biggest part of the building, it looked like a chunk of it had been removed even, like someone just took a whole chunk from the building and placed it here, it was so bizarre, completely out of place… One of your friends went closer to investigate what was behind it, because the outside of it was just pure black, you heard a gasp “Guys! Come look at this!” They shouted, which caught everyone’s attention, all of you quickly speeding over, your eyes widened slightly at what was behind this, you scanned over the structure with your camera.

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Zooming in and out on the occasion “What… What is it…?” You questioned, walking toward the thing, one of your friends calling out for you to be careful as you approached the large remains of the building, you needed to get a closer look, as you stepped closer, you noticed bits and pieces scattered around, some bar looking items, what looked like they used to be… Playmats…? And some plushies even remained, granted most of them had pieces charred off and stuffing blowing around, there was a thing that even looked to be a slide and that’s when it hit you

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“...I think this used to be the Daycare!” You called out as you continued to film the surrounding area, making sure you got everything, even shining your flashlight on it to get a better look “...It’s definitely seen better days though, holy shit… Most of it is charred to a crisp” All of your friends began approaching, looking around themselves, their phones out to record the area.

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“A Daycare? …Weird… …I don’t think I’d uh, entrust any kids to a place like this, not after all the shit I heard” One of your friends chimed in to which you chuckled at “No w a y, I’d never trust Fazbear’s with a child…! The place was way too dangerous” You spoke up to which your friend agreed at, they looked the place up and down and hummed “Ya know, the way it's positioned and the way it looks right now, it reminds me of one of those dollhouses, ya know, the ones you can open up that have like, different rows, it… Actually… Hang on, (Y/N), look at that” They ran up to the building even closer, you ran alongside them, looking confused 

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“What is it?” Your friend quickly spoke up “...It… It looks like something jammed some flooring into the building, like… Almost like building a bookshelf sorta deal! It looks like they were being extra mindful not to break it entirely as they did so, after all, a burnt building isn’t the most stable… And over here! It looks like… Stairs…?” You were in complete awe as you walked over with your friend, scanning your camera over the shelf-like flooring along with the stairs.

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“...Wha…What coulda done this? Don’t you think it was just always like this?” Your friend shook their head “...I don’t think so, it wouldn’t make sense to design something like that, plus… Whatever was used for flooring and the stairs… It isn’t burnt! In fact it looks… Somewhat new, recent even” …You felt a shiver go up your spine, you felt nervous but excited, there was a pay off after all! You noticed there was a hole in the floors, purposefully made for the stairs to keep leading up until it was at the very top, you somewhat headed up the stairs before pausing and looking back to your friend “You coming with, orrr… Looking elsewhere?” They laughed “Nah, I’m good down here, you go have fun! …Unless of course you’re… S c a r e d to go by yourself~” They teased, to which you rolled your eyes at

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“Oh p l e a s e… I’m not scared of some charred up building, not even with this… New floors or stairs, there’s gotta be a reasonable explanation” Your friend raised a brow “Oh like what, some of the corporate scumbags came back here JUST to do THAT? Nah, maybe there’s something out there! Maybe an actual animatronic that you wanted!” It was your turn to raise a brow now “...The animatronic would literally have to be like, giant or some shit to do something like this!” Your friend then spoke up “Well actually, there were some really tall animatronics, there was a literal giant one, I think it was uh… Music Man or something like that? I don’t remember really, they advertised so much it was hard to keep up with” You nodded “Well, I’m going on ahead” Your friend wished you good luck and then you headed up the stairs finally.

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Slowly but surely as you climbed the stairs, as you got to the first upper level you noticed the hole the stairs protruded from, it seemed like it was burnt…? As in, burnt to create the hole in the first place, you filmed it and then spoke up to your camera “Woah… This place is so cool…” You walked over to what you assumed would have once been a play structure, it was charred completely but it looked like something had been trying to keep it from falling down over the years, you felt nervous…

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The burned in holes, the shelf-like flooring shoved into the building, all of that seemed… Fresh, too fresh, it seemed like something or someone was still taking care of the remains of this place, technically speaking you knew that none of you were really supposed to come in here in the first place, after all, the large fence surrounding the place had been put up for a reason, to keep trespassers out.

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You continued up the stairs, the third level contained a bunch of drawings, some of them intact only with burnt edges while others were burnt pretty badly that became unintelligible. You couldn’t see the drawings but then you pointed your camera to the one drawing that was somewhat intact “...Su…Sun…?” You began, looking over the picture of what looked to be a sun themed animatronic and then to the next “...Moon…” Of course the other was a moon themed animatronic and then finally you saw another one…

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It looked a bit scary, the grin unnerving as could be, you saw the name Ecl but it was then scribbled out and ‘Solar’ was put in its place, it wasn’t that hard to put two and two together “...S-Solar Eclipse…?” You gasped when you felt a rumbling sensation, it startled you and almost caused you to fall. You had been scared that perhaps the building was close to collapsing but soon enough, as quickly as it began, the rumbling ended.

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You sighed in relief, glancing one more time at the drawing “...Sun, Moon, and Eclipse… …Seems fitting enough” You mumbled, you wondered if they were still here, despite being a bit on edge now you felt a twinge of excitement in the possibility there were some animatronics still left over, you continued up the stairs and to the fourth and final bit of the remains of the daycare, there were more drawings, more plushies, but also what seemed to be like the security desk, or well the remains of it anyways, you saw monitors there, none of them worked of course because why would they

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They are god knows how old and have been without any sort of power since the place burnt down! You walked over, picking up a plush of Sun and inspecting it first, some of the rays were torn off, you saw charred marks where they once were, then you picked up a Moon plush, the cap had been burnt up a little ways and then it was missing an arm, and then finally you saw a plushie of Eclipse, you hadn’t seen too many of those lying around.

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The plush looked somewhat… Melted…? You squinted at it, coming closer, you didn’t dare pick it up as you shined your flashlight on it and that’s when you realized, this just happened recently… You could smell the melting fabric, it was… Well it was just straight up gross, you stumbled back, someone or something had melted this plush recently and that’s when you finally decided “...Alright, I got enough… Ti-” And that’s when you froze, you heard a high pitched screaming sound, you saw birds flying up into the sky, it was so much easier to see from this height, you could see a good distance, but the view was the last thing on your mind, that scream belonged to one of your friends, before you could even think about getting down, that loud rumbling came back, what WAS that…?!

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You listened closer to try and find out what it was and then you realized… Thump thump thump, fast paced, mechanical, h e a v y, large footsteps… It was footsteps, and whatever it was, it was running, FAST! You quickly stood up, you were about to run and get down but then a loud roar echoed throughout the forest, it sounded garbled, robotic, you felt your hair standing up, goosebumps forming up and down your arms. You could feel yourself growing more and more nervous by the second, you looked down, surveying over your panicked friends “RUN! GET OUT OF HERE NOW!”

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The one that emerged from the direction of that awful roar sounded off, running past them, they all looked confused before suddenly, some trees were pushed over to the sides, those once huge trees now shoved aside as if they weighed nothing which they probably didn’t compared to the beast you were seeing now… It had to be fifty foot tall, it was an amalgamation of animatronics, melded together, no… Almost melted together it seemed, three heads which you recognized from the drawings.

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Sun… Moon… And Eclipse… You didn’t even know how to process what you were seeing… The only bits you noticed at first were the two missing rays, their body sparking which caused them to garble out some noise, almost seemed like… Pain? You couldn’t believe what you were even seeing right now, this felt completely unreal, you saw was spotlight-like eyes beaming down on all your friends, the Moon’s were red with white pupils in the middle, Sun’s were blue, and then Eclipse’s were just dark orange voids, his pupils are red and you swore you saw little flakes of white in its eyes, the three heads melded together on some poles, it looked almost akin to Cerberus…

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The monster glared down at your friends, baring teeth, Moon’s being razor sharp while Eclipse’s were all needle-like and jagged, Sun had normal teeth but that still didn’t stop the piercing terror that froze you to the floor… You watched your friends scrambling to try and get away, they were all crying and sobbing as the lights fixated on them, the Moon one grabbed a few of your friends causing them to cry and scream out for help.

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Some of the others had gotten away, while the giant animatronic had managed to grab at least four of them, the Moon had two and then the Sun had two more, meanwhile the middle… Eclipse had grabbed no one, just looking toward Sun and Moon confused, first thing it noticed was Moon’s broken giggling, static overlapping along with some glitches in between and then it looked over to Sun who seemed angry at first, except it seemed like a scolding kind of anger, scolding them as if they were children that got caught doing something wrong… You watched this play out.

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Watching in horror as Moon lifted both your friends up by their shirt collars with the slightest of ease, he slowly opened his mouth, a tongue lolling out to the side which caused your friends to scream and cry even louder, this made Eclipse’s eyes seemingly widen as he made a garbled noise to Sun who looked over, confused before his eyes widened as well, he yelled out to the other, it was unintelligible due to the overlapping static and glitches that plagued their voice boxes, it was more than likely broken.

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Moon hissed, glaring over at the others momentarily, he noticed the disapproving looks in their eyes… He then looked back down to your friends who were still crying, begging to be let go, apologizing for… One reason or another, you swore you heard the Moon hum slightly almost as if it was contemplating before growls sounded from the others and then they huffed, setting the humans down and snarling loudly at them, as if they weren’t already planning to leave.

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Then Sun set the others down after wagging a finger at them, one of your friends glanced up to the remains of the daycare, you looked down at them, eyes locking, they looked scared not only for themselves but for you too it seemed, before they could even attempt to rescue you, the other grabbed their hand and took off, all your friends had left… You… You felt completely frozen but you needed to move, you HAD to move! To run! You had filmed none of this, only the noises were caught but that was good enough for you.

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You forced yourself to stand, body fighting against the fear you felt and then you booked it, flying down the stairs practically as fast as your body could physically manage, you had turned your flashlight off so you wouldn’t be spotted as easily and just looked where you were going via the camera, after jumping once down at the final steps you quickly ran away from the building, you heard something that sounded like a sigh, or a huff even, you heard what sounded like steam coming from behind you.

---------------------------------------------------------

…Now you knew you needed to get out of here and you were going to but… One quick shot of the creature wouldn’t hurt, plus it could be used as actual evidence in case you needed it, after all nobody would believe you all if you just said a giant animatronic was chasing you! Despite how much your head screamed at you to just keep going, it’d only take one second…! You spun around, slowly tilted your camera up to catch the other in its entirety, from its multiple legs, to its multi-torso, to its multi arms, and then finally the multiple heads…

-----------------------------------------------------------

The giant creature seemingly looking up to the starry sky, almost longingly it seemed, you blinked in surprise as it reached up, reaching for the sky, the stars, maybe even the actual moon itself. After catching the animatronic on camera, you then turned back around to continue running, your foot stepped on a left over plushie, this caused you to not only fall but it also let out a squeak as well, you made sure not to bust your camcorder as you fell but that was the very least of your problems right now…

------------------------------------------------------

Suddenly, an array of colors shone down on you, a somewhat colorful yet ominous spotlight, you felt completely exposed, tears pricking at your eyes because you knew they were looking at you, you could feel their eyes piercing through your body and soul, you turned around somewhat, locking eyes with the three of them and you noticed they looked taken aback by you… For a few moments the both of you stayed still, eyes locked on each other, the only movement by the animatronic was the occasional sparking that seemed to cause them to flinch but it seemed like it couldn’t be helped.

-------------------------------------------------------

The animatronic just stared down at you, no growling, hissing, or anger however… They seemed rather curious in fact… And then… It reached out its hands to you, well except for Eclipse, you screamed which caused them to jolt back and then you got up and booked it, you had no idea where you were going but only a few minutes later could you heard giant footsteps booming, seemingly following you, you didn’t dare look back this time, you didn’t dare sneak a glance behind you, in fear of what you might see, because it was close, every step it took just seemed to get closer and closer to you.

---------------------------------------------------------

You were full on crying at this point, your body was shaking, you felt like you were absolutely going to die this night, you didn’t blame your friends, in fact, none of them knew you had gone up there except for that one and before they could even try anything, their hand was grabbed, you saw the look they gave you… You cried out for help, as if anyone could hear you this deep into the forest, you screamed, cried, and begged.

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You realized you had no idea where you were going either but it didn’t matter, after all, the place was encased in fencing, if you could just get to the fence fast enough and climb over you’d be free, you’d be safe! …You hoped anyways, either way you continued running in the direction, your legs felt like they were on fire, they hurt from running so fast but you didn’t dare slow down, you noticed the footsteps weren’t as loud meaning you must’ve been gaining some distance or the animatronic had maybe lost interest.

-------------------------------------------------------------

You were hoping anyways because all you could think of is that thing tearing you apart, treating you like a plaything, or eating you or SOMETHING! You didn’t know what it wanted to do, after all, that Moon animatronic… He looked like he was about to eat your friends then and there, you weren’t going to risk that, you continued running despite your body screaming at you to take a break, man… If you lived to see another day, the video from the camcorder would be disorienting as hell, you supposed at the very least it really was going to give it a found footage type vibe.

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…You just hoped you weren’t going to go missing like all those videos ended, the footsteps were still present, booming but they were in the distance, they weren’t too close to you, you continued running in hopes of getting to the fence and getting out of here but before you knew it, once more you had ended up flat on your stomach, a branch had caught your ankle, you yelled out in pain upon falling down, you could feel it, your ankle was twisted thanks to that branch, not only that but you felt thorns pricking at you.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Some seemed to be embedding into your skin thanks to that fall, and then finally your camera had landed somewhat in front of you, it was just out of your reach, tears fell from your eyes, sobs racking your body, the pain coursing through you right now was excruciating, pain from not only running like you were but now the pain of a twisted ankle and then thorns buried into your skin, you could feel blood running down the wounds.

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And then you heard it, those god awful thunderous crashes of footsteps, they were coming right this way, you tried not to move too much thanks to the thorns but sobs made you shake, you remembered wanting to find a functioning animatronic but… Not like this, you didn’t want this night to end up like this! This was just supposed to be a fun little adventure, you and your friends being silly, having a good time, laughing and having fun! Not… Not this, you shouldn’t have stopped to film the creature either, you should’ve just kept running, it’d be better than this current predicament.

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You thought about your friends again as the footsteps continued getting closer and closer with each passing second, you looked toward the camera, stifling a sob long enough so you could speak “I-I’m… I’m sorry… Guys… I-If you ever find my camera… I wa… f-fuck…” You hissed in pain and you could feel yourself growing a bit woozy from blood loss  “Want you to know… O-One thing… I-I love you all… T-Take care of yourselves” And then, the footsteps were as loud as they could be…

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You saw the lights beaming down directly onto you, you didn’t even bother looking up, you just squeezed your eyes shut and cried, this was it, you were going to die here… The last thing the camera caught before the battery drained was the sounds of your screams, you did at least try to beg for your life so it caught that too, you knew it was no use of course and then you were being picked up by said creature, the camera then went completely static, meaning only one thing… Your tape ends there. . . …Or does it?

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(Literally I don’t think anyone will get the reference im making at the end here …exclude the or does it part, I, myself, just threw that one in there for funsies and to also let others know this’ll be a chaptered series, but who knows I could be wrong, if anybody knows the reference I’ll be surprised tbh!

Either way I made some changes to Gala’s design, they are now 50ft instead of just 20ft bc I wanted a bigger lad and they are also more melted together than what I put in their description, the basic thing I can tell y’all for those who don’t know, one night I just said fuck it

 I wanna design my own kinda fusion lad and thus Galaxy was born I’ll give a link to his desc but likewise, things are subject to change about him, even his desc in this somewhat apparently)

Here’s the l a d: https://cryptidofthekeys.tumblr.com/post/689533527605362688/galaxy

[batarangsoundsdumb]

hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries 

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist. 

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right?? 

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless...... 

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :((((  )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow 

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing 

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho) 

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main 

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet 

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh 

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.

[blackberry-gingham]

hi, could you write headcanons how would each beatle wake up reader when she is still snoozing and they woke up earlier (let's pretend john is capable of being an early bird, yah?) and are boreeeed? I hope it's not too weird or too specific 🥴 I adore you writing, very fresh? and delightful

Lol, thank you!! I've never heard someone describe my writing like that, I love it 😂

But yeah, let's go for it!

---

George

I think George is like the one guy of the lads who would try to control himself as long as possible lol

He'd let you rest for a bit and mill about, doing whatever

Buuuuuuut....

He just wants to spend time with you already!!

He'd try to formulate a way to wake you up that's least obnoxious for sure tho lol

Although... He is a little salty that you're sleeping soooo laaaate

In the end, he'd get in bed with you and his old acoustic guitar and play some music

He's surprisingly quiet, but when he adds his voice to sing, there's just enough noise to wake you up

You grunt, not exactly happy to have been woken up, but you can't quite find it in yourself to be mad either

Now that you've started to stir, George gives you a little nudge and a hug

"Come on love, I made breakfast! I'm just waiting for you"

He gives you a small but urgent shake, and you laugh

George must truly love you to put off a meal for you lol

John

Now as much as John loves to be obnoxious...

Morning is the one time of day where he can't summon the strength to properly get on anyone's nerves lmao

John wakes up, and is immediately looking to be entertained

You're fast asleep but when he checks the time it's already quite late

Hm...

He rolls over and wraps you up in every inch of himself

His legs tangled in yours, his arms around your waist, and his face nuzzling into your neck with that long pointy nose

It's cold lmao

That wakes you up more then anything tbh

You squeal and shiver, a little shocked by the sensation

"Joooooohn...", you writhe and try to push him away

He smiles and refuses to let go, proud to start the day off with just a little mischief

"Goooood mooooorning", his voice is sleepy, but there's a note of mirth in there too

You sigh in defeat and roll over to face him, just to get his frigid flesh off your sensitive neck

You're awake, but the two of spend just a little more time in bed to cuddle

Paul

10/10 Paul would be the most childish about it lmao

First he just rolls over and watches you sleep with the expectation that you'll wake up any minute now

But when that doesn't happen... He pouts and decides to do it himself

First test, he pokes your face for a little bit

You flinch and roll over

Paul jumps up and rolls you back over, a little impatient now

"Heeeeellooooo... Wake up love!"

He starts to shake you, slowly at first but then with a bit of gusto

You laugh and shake him off

You've been awake since the poking, you just wanted to see how far he'd go

He gives you a kiss and pulls you up to a seated position, eager to start the day with you

Ringo

Idk why, but I always headcannon Ringo to be his lively self from like, the minute he wakes up lmao

Like, just the very definition of a morning person

All he knows is he's awake and you are not and we can't have that!

His intentions are good, but of all the others he ends up being the one to be obnoxious without meaning to do it lol

He'd probably give you a few minutes to wake up, but after a while he'd just straight up jump on you lmaoooo

Luckily for you (or perhaps, for him), he's on the small side so it's not like you're hurt

You sure are surprised tho

Ringo flops down on your torso as you awake with a start

You're just getting your wits about you when he excitedly calls out good morning

He gives you time to groan back a half hearted good morning

Then he leaps up and over and plants a sloppy kiss on your lips

You return the kiss but you can't help but hold back laughter, your mood instantly shifting

Maybe it is a good morning after all :)

[jaeminscoffee]

Crash and Burn

Pairing- Liu YangYang x reader

Genre- Angst, fluff, suggestive.

Warning- swear words, could get a little suggestive [ nothing too crazy coz i’m still a baby but it’s something better than nothing.], fwb to lovers. It's pretty cliché lmao kill me

Summary - The place Yangyang happened to crash at after each failed tinder date was yours. Comfort to discomfort to arguments to fights, you've been through all that with him by your side. This deal was meant to be a friendship breaker. It burned the whole friendship label the two of you had. But built an entirely different label.

"Stay, I'll run a bath for you" Yangyang said, getting up, panting a bit as he picks up the boxer that was discarded onto the floor a while ago. You didn't have the energy to refuse or put a say in it so you merely nodded.

He presses a gentle kiss on your forehead and makes his way towards your bathroom.

It had been like this ever since that frat party where the two of you, influenced by the adrenaline rush because of all the drinks you had consumed, couldn't keep your hands off of each other, when he suggested the whole friends with benefit deal.

You were taken aback, but the high sex drive you'd felt ever since your first break up, and the fact that he is an absolute eye candy made you want nothing more than just him to manhandle you.

It went well for the first 5 months or so. He'd date whoever he wanted, you'd hang out with anyone you wanted, and then you'd fuck by the end of the day. That was the whole deal.

No strings attached.

Oh that, you'd failed to keep up with that rule. Again really doesn't help that he's an incredibly handsome lad, was kind and loving, and the incubus in sheets.

It all felt weird because it was so obvious that he did NOT reciprocate the feelings because he'd treat the others of your kind the same as you.

But as days passed, you'd craved more than just his touch. You wanted all his attention to yourself. But that wasn't going to happen and it was obvious.

"Can you walk?" he asked making his way to you with a smug look. "yeah i can" you say, wrapping the sheets around you as you grip the edge of the bed, him standing beside you with his arms crossed over his bare chest, smirk displayed on his face.

It only grew wider as he saw you wobble and wince in pain, sitting back down clutching your abdomen. "Right" he moves closer to where you were seated, picking you up bridal style as though it wasn't a big of a deal and made his way to the bath tub that was filled with warm water.

" 'i can' she said" he mocked your tone from a while ago, placing you down into the tub as you let out a sigh of content. "not my fucking fault you couldn't go easy" you let out after hearing him.

"Whatever you say honey. Anyways, can you manage from here? I've gotta go, have a date in like 2 hours"

You look at him as he smiles, showing the prettiest set of teeth, his eyes sparkling as always. You look down for a second. Giving a mental ted talk to yourself to gather up your thoughts and just tell him about your feelings.

But you were scared. You knew that you'd lose all the relationship you've had so far. Confessing always did that. And you didn't want to lose him.

"Y/n?" he called out, seeing you space out and clearly not listening to him. No. You can't confess. Let that be. You needed him beside you. Be it him as a friend, friends with benefit or whatever.

"Y/n..?" Yangyang said a little louder, nudging your shoulder as you step out of your head space. Turning back to look at him as you smile back "Yeah go ahead" you look down right after. "You sure? Are you okay?" you nod at the questions.

Yangyang looks skeptical for a while, looking at you knowing somethings going on in your mind but still turns back and makes his way back towards your room, out of the bathroom most probably now out of your house too.

After hearing the door click behind him you confirm your thoughts thinking he has left and broke out into a sob. Pathetic.

You had the chance to say it to him right that moment, but you didn't. Understandable that you were scared that you'd lose him. But you still could've shoot your shot.

The constant nagging of your friends on you being a pussy and to muster up your courage to confess to him ring through your head which only resulted in you choking on a harsh sob that left your throat.

You let yourself drown in your own thoughts further. It wasn't until you felt that your skin was turning moist that you got out of the tub.

You take a towel and wrap it around yourself, looking into the mirror, running a finger through your hair before heading out.

"Took you long enough" you hear, jumping as you thought that you were all alone in your apartment. You look up from the ground to see Yangyang, still in your room, sitting towards the edge of the bed, now getting up and making his way towards you.

"Why.. Are you still he-" he didn't let you complete your sentence. "Tell me what's wrong" he held a stern look in his eyes as he stood directly in front of you. He was going to get it out of you tonight

"Huh-?" "Tell me what's wrong Y/n i could hear you clear as day. Don't you dare try hiding anything from me." you back away, a little intimidated by the male in front of you.

"Honestly it was nothing i swear-" you try saying to which you were cut off again, him holding you by your shoulder to keep you from backing away further from him.

"Y/n do you think i'm stupid? You think i didn't notice the way you've been looking at me from the past few days?" you look at him, confused, clutching tightly onto the towel that covered your body.

"What do you mean?" you ask in a hushed tone. "I read your conversation with Sarah." he says, leaning down so that you were almost exactly of the same height.

You keep quiet, still not catching onto what he was trying to get at. "When were you going to tell me huh?"

Then it struck you. Shit.

"Wh-what do you mean?" you try acting oblivious, which didn't work as he shook you way harder than intended, you let out a yelp.

"you fucking love me and you didn't tell it to me?" you look down, not daring to look at him knowing he's about to break off everything you had, then and there.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you Y/n" his voice dropped multiple octaves, sending a shudder down your spine as you slowly look up to see him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he spoke in a much softer tone after seeing the redness in your eyes, which was the aftermath of your little breakdown inside the washroom.

"I.. Didn't want to" you spoke slowly at first. Taking in a deep breathe, you decide to let everything out, it's all going to end here anyways so why not?

"I didn't want to because i know you felt nothing like that. I didn't want to fucking lose you because of my stupid feeling. I know you had made it obvious that there would be no emotions involved, I'm sorry but I'm human. Maybe if you would've acted like a bitch to me I'd have not fallen for you. But nooo you had to be so kind. Do you know the number of times my heart broke part by part seeing you with other girls? When you'd come home, talk to me about your shitty dates and then just take me? It's hard not to fall for you Yangyang and I'm sorry about that-" you stop to breathe, feeling the tears well up for the second time that night.

"-And i understand that you feel nothing for me but please, please don't leave me for this i cannot afford to lose you. I'll get rid of my feelings for you, I'll try to but p-please don't-"

The rest of your words were swallowed up by Yangyang's mouth as he pressed a hard kiss against your lips, shutting you completely, backing you up until your back hit the wall behind you. The kiss was far from innocent as he shoved his tongue into your mouth after you parted your lips when he bit the bottom. You let out a whimper.

Things got heated between the pair of you when he decided to pull away. Foreheads connected, he looks at you dead in the eye.

"Stop speaking about my feelings for me as a third person, Y/n." your gaze fixated on the floor, finding the wood more interesting than ever. You felt fingers grip your chin as your head was tilted up to look straight back at Yangyang.

"You think i feel nothing for you. Think i feel not even an ounce of love for you and you're right. I don't feel for you just a little. Because you cloud my fucking thoughts every single hour of the day. Of course I like you, fuck no i love you but i was confused because, one moment you'd be all up against me and the other you don't even bother looking at me. So i decided it would be the best to start distracting myself, maybe go on few trashy dates, fuck someone else that wasn't you. But you just had to be in my thoughts every. single. second. So no. Now knowing that you love me, of course i won't let you forget your feelings for me, not on my watch that is."

You look up to him, looking straight at him as his gaze stayed fixed on your face, watching your eyes grow wide every passing second.

"Say it" he spoke with that low tone once again. "w-what?" you stammer.

"Say that you love me." your eyes widen more than it already had, you say nothing. The room eerily silent as you look all over his face to see if he spoke the truth or it was a mere confession out of desperation of wanting a girlfriend.

"Are you going to say it or should i fuck it out of you?" he spoke, a little above a whisper as he took a hold of your hands, pinning it down beside your head, leaning into the crook of your neck, placing a light kiss on your skin, then moving up to your ear lobe, pausing there, waiting for you to speak. "i.." you started. "hm?" he asked placing a kiss on your temple.

At no response from your end he dipped back down into your neck, biting it a little too hard, making you squirm. "Say it princess, don't keep me waiting" he said still continuing his demonstration. He bit down once again and this time you let out a loud gasp. Squealing you say "I-i love you"

He felt his lips grow into a smirk against your skin, letting go of your hands placing them around his neck as his hands moved to grip your hips. "What was that? I couldn't hear you." His hands snaked behind you going dangerously low, placing it on your ass giving it a light squeeze. You whine as you squeal out louder "I love you!"

He stopped biting the skin of your neck, leaning back, admiring the newly formed bruises that replaced the older ones.

He let go of you and pulled you forward, right into his chest, holding you in place with a tight embrace. "I love you too" he spoke in a voice way softer compared to his actions not even a second ago. "I'm sorry i made you feel unloved." he rocked you back and forth. "I'm so sorry" he repeated, placing a kiss on top of your head.

"I'll show you how much i love you" he said, not giving you a chance to speak as he lifted you up making his way towards the bed where things were intimate a while ago.

"Yang not again! We just fucked like an hour ago" you said giggling as he placed soft kisses all over your face.

"There were no strings attached in that baby" he said as he lowered you onto the bed, standing up, removing his shirt for the second time that night.

"Oh this time i'll show you just how much i love you"

-

That's it!! Was that good?? I'm sorry if it's trashy! This is infact, the first ever time I've written a one-shot! Do tell me if you liked reading it luvs! 💗

(requests are open and so am i open to making new friends! Go ahead, tell me how your day was and stuff!)

[daydream-believin]

Recipe For Disaster 2: Electric Boogaloo

Summary: Jim is NOT happy about his sister’s boyfie. (not a part two despite the confusing name)

Warnings: swearing, a gilmore girls reference, divorce kids got daddy issues

Word Count: 5560, my longest yet woohoo

A/N: here it is im finally done with this. i- im tired. i love jim he was my favorite until doux came along but he can be a little bitch boy sometimes. and the word of the day is giggle im so sorry

tags: @alovesongshewrote​ hope i can deliver now that you have expectations lmao

It was a good Saturday. The trollhunters trio had gotten an early start on training, and thus Blinky had released them for an early lunch. It was a particularly successful day, with Claire really getting the hang of the shadow staff, so they decided to not make poor Jim cook for once and go out for a treat. And Toby really wanted a sandwich from Benoit’s.

They opted to walk to downtown instead of biking, as a way to cool down. Plus, it would give them time to digest their food on the walk back, before they returned to training once again. Although that was more of a problem for Jim and Toby, since Blinky wanted Claire to start reading a certain book this afternoon. She’d be in the library, quietly sitting while the boys go back to running around and fighting. The spring flowers had just started returning to Arcadia Oaks. The flowerbeds that decorated town added a cheery air to the day. Happily, Jim ran up in front to kick a pebble as they came up towards the bistro around the corner. He stopped in his tracks.

“Is Y/n’s boss flirting with her?”

The other two teens came around Jim to see. Y/n laughed at Douxie’s dumb joke and put her hand on his shoulder.

“And is she flirting back?” Jim asked incredulously.

Claire didn’t take this the same way Jim did. “Aww, that’s so cute.”

“No it’s not. It’s weird. And wrong.” Jim asserted.

“What are you talking about,” Claire lowered her brows with an annoyed tone.

“No, no. he’s right. Y/n doesn’t flirt. Or date. I’m not even sure she crushes.”

Claire shook her head, “That can’t be true, TP. She’s like, old. You two just didn’t notice it.”

“Oh, no, we noticed it. She went to every school dance alone, even senior prom.” Toby added. “It was kind of sad to be honest.”

“Remember that time that big movie star came into town? He was the prettiest guy I’d ever seen, and Y/n was just like ‘eh he’s okay, I guess’. We literally had a fight over that one.” Jim chuckled.

“I literally can’t imagine Y/n in a relationship. She’s just too all over the place.”

Claire rolled her eyes and gestured her hands towards the scene in front of them. “Well, she seems to be doing just fine now.”

Jim didn’t know why, but this made him a little huffy. “Whatever. It’s just a crush, anyways. She’ll get over it soon enough.”

Douxie leaned over to give Y/n a quick peck goodbye before he headed into Mr. Benoit’s to start his shift. He had swapped shifts with one of his coworkers for the day, so he could have the evening off. Y/n headed back to the bookstore. She tucked her hair behind her ear as she left, smiling to herself. The three trollhunters still stood right where they were, staring.

“I don’t think it’s just a crush, Jimbo.”

Jim was outraged. How. How was this happening. He could understand her not telling her family, their mother could be a bit nosy sometimes when it came to her daughter’s personal affairs. But his sister had often said she didn’t have enough time to pursue a love life whenever their mother probed her. There was no way she just started having said time. Right? It was curious, too, that out of all the people she could have chosen in Arcadia, she chose Douchey. That guy had girls fawning over him wherever he went. There was no way Y/n was into that.

Come to think of it, Y/n had been acting really strange ever since she had gotten that job at the bookstore. It was so easy to make her laugh now. She was actually wearing her hair in different styles instead of her signature. She actually enjoyed Barbara’s cooking. Or at least complimented it a lot now. Still a baffling action nonetheless. It was if she was experiencing the side effects of something. And that bookstore reeked of magic. Magic had the power to drive people out of their minds. He’d had plenty of first-hand experience with that. This whole situation was fishy.

“Well, I think it’s so cute they’re together now.” Claire said cheerily. He loved her but she wasn’t exactly the best when it came to making judgement calls. Hell, the fact that she was dating him after all he’s put her through was enough proof of that.

“Well, I think its magic.” Jim deadpanned.

“What.” Claire snapped.

“He’s got a spell on her! Some sort of enchantment. A charm!”

Toby was too tired from training today to deal with this. “I’ll agree, he does have charm, have you had him as a waiter? But not the kind of charm you’re implying here, Jim.”

“Douxie is my magic teacher, Jim. I promise, he’s a really nice guy.”

“Nope. There’s no way my sister would be into a guy, let alone a guy like,” He tried to find the right words but just sputtered, “Like that!” he motioned to poor Doux, who was changing the specials sign out front. Douxie was one of those bistro employees who always got asked to draw up the sign because his calligraphy was so good. Doux had to admit, his handwriting was messy compared to Merlin’s standards, but to Mr. Benoit’s he was a calligraphy god.

Toby looked Doux up and down. “I don’t know man, Y/n is kind of alternative.”

“Yeah, who do you think helps me dye my hair all the time? And sneaks me into concerts?” Claire added.

“Okay. I get that. But he’s just not good enough for her.” Jim said through gritted teeth.

Toby sighed. “Then who is?” he asked wearily.

Jim got defensive. “I don’t know! A prince, maybe. One that’s in line to be king. Not one of those waiting-for-a-brother-to-die ones, but a real one.” He nodded his head like any of that was realistic. “Definitely not just some wizard who works in a bookstore.”

“She’s just some wizard who works in a bookstore, though.”

There was no getting through to Jim. “Think about it guys, my sister, suddenly getting cozy with a magic man? Bushigal. She’s under a spell. I’m going to fight him.”

“No, no you’re not,” Claire asserted, “You’re going to have lunch like we planned AND you’re going to be civil.” Claire and Toby both grabbed one of his arms and dragged him towards the bistro.

***

The hostess guided them to the table. Claire sat across from Jim and Toby. They were handed the menus. Claire showed interest in the lunch specials while Toby flipped to the sandwiches. Jim just brooded while he stared unblinking into the first page. And by chance, and by the fact that this scene would be boring and or pointless if not, Douxie was the waiter for said table. After handing off the check to one of his other tables, he waltzed over to the trio, happy to see his protégé.

“Ello lads, how’s it going? How’d that test go today, Claire?” Douxie ruffled her hair. Jim narrowed his eyes at the sight.

“Horrible! I bombed it for sure!”

Toby rolled his eyes, “You say that about every test, Claire, and then it turns out you aced them.”

“No I mean it this time, TP. I didn’t even finish the last three questions. It was so bad!”

“Yeah, okay, I’ll believe it when I see it.”

Douxie chuckled. Oh to have the problems of these youngsters. Claire and Toby got into some sort of glare match where they both just made more and more aggressive funny faces at each other. Both finally conceded and they fell into giggles. Douxie was glad to see Claire having so much fun, but he noticed someone else at the table who was not having said fun. His apprentice Claire’s boyfriend, his master’s champion, and his darling Y/n’s brother, looking like his dog ate his homework, or whatever teenagers got angry about these days.

“Cheer up, lad.” Doux grinned at Jim, “Hangry? I get that. You look like you could use a good meal.”

“Well strangely I am in a cafe”

Claire kicked Jim under the table. He tried his best to stifle the grunt of pain. “Don’t mind Jim, he’s a tad grumpy from a bad training session. And we’ll take waters all around.” She smiled. Doux hurried off to go get their glasses.

In the end, Toby couldn’t pick a sandwich. He had three favorites and couldn’t decide between them yet. Jim and Claire had his back. They both got one of them and he got the third. Then they would all share the halves. A good plan. And it was a delicious one. Toby was thankful for his partners.

***

After finishing up training and walking Claire home, Jim and Toby went their separate ways. Toby had promised his Nana he’d go with her and her boyfriend to see a play in the next town over. Jim had promised his mother he’d be home for a family dinner. He wasn’t able to be home in time to cook, so this was going to be a roulette wheel when it came to food. He was betting on Y/n. As he came to the front door, he cracked it first and smelled the air before going inside as to make sure his candid reaction wouldn’t be bad. The aroma coming from the house was heavenly. Alright, Y/n. Jackpot.

Jim swung the door open wide as he strutted in. Everyone was in the kitchen, it looked like. He put his bag up and called to his family that he was home. Which was met with the two voices he had expected, but one he hadn’t. And it was a voice he didn’t want to hear right now. Douxie. Hisirdoux fucking Casperan. In his house. In his kitchen. In his territory.

Jim immediately felt his muscles tense up. He took a deep breath and put on his best fake smile before heading into the kitchen. Y/n was sautéing something over the stove. Barbara was stirring something which meant that she had insisted on helping and Y/n had done the equivalent of giving your younger sibling a game controller that wasn’t plugged in. The offending wizard was leaning over the bar counter from the other side, chatting away as if he had any reason to be here.

Once Y/n caught sight of Jim, she bubbled. “Jim! How was hiking? You three have fun?” she knew where he actually spent his Saturdays but they had to keep up the rouse for their mom. While Y/n particularly didn’t care for the lying, she also agreed with Jim that some things are best kept from worrisome mothers. Barbara gave her enough shit already for her frequent homecomings from bars and shows in the wee hours of the morning with scrapes and bruises. If their mother knew about Jim’s marginally more dangerous late-night escapades, she might actually have a nervous breakdown.

“Oh yeah, it was great. We saw a deer. It had a baby with it.”

“Majestic.” She turned and gestured to the man at the counter, “You remember Douxie, right?”

“Of course,” Jim said through gritted teeth forced into a smile. “In fact we just saw each other at the bistro earlier today.”

A timer went off. Y/n expressed her delight that something in the oven was done. Barb got some plates out of the cabinet, while Y/n pulled the main course out of the oven. She handed Jim the plates and silverware and sent him to go set the table. Jim supposed this was better than having to talk to Douxie. Until Douxie insisted on helping him. Great.

“So, Jim, I’ve heard a lot about you-”

“I’m sure you have.” Jim cut him off. Douxie was a bit confused, but figured he was still grumpy like he was earlier at the bistro. He’d leave the moody teen alone then. Perhaps he be in a better mood after getting some food in him and spending time with his family. Doux would try for conversation again then.

Jim did not get any less grumpy, to Douxie’s dismay. And Y/n’s. Y/n really needed both her family members to like her boyfriend. They were all each other had, and any strife would put a strain on their tiny closely-knit family unit. Y/n loved Douxie, and she wanted Jim and Barbara to love him to. To accept him. It would help put a validity to her feelings. If they liked him then she had made the right choice. She could never be with someone her loved ones hated. And as a bonus, it would be nice if she could give Douxie the family he never had. He deserved as much.

Luckily, Barbara had taken quite a liking to Arcadia’s most charming waiter. Jim however, was subtly hostile. Or at least he thought he was being subtle. It was very apparent to the other three at the table. As Douxie was animatedly telling Barb some story that she was laughing very hard at, Y/n turned to glare at her brother. Jim tried to feign innocence. Y/n rolled her eyes and put some more salad on her plate. Jim noticed the bracelet on her wrist. Funny, she had never been one for jewelry before. But she started wearing this one everyday right around the time she started working at the bookstore. Interesting.

Douxie finished up his story and turned his attention to Jim. He’d try once again to engage the trollhunter. He knew how important this was to Y/n. Douxie was going to make this little man like him if it was the last thing he did.

“I saw the school play you were in a couple weeks ago, Jim. You were quite the actor, and I know Shakespeare’s tough. Have you ever thought of going into it professionally? Claire’s told me she wants to. You two could be one of those celebrity power couples.”

Jim just offered a short thanks that was less hostile but not exactly enthusiastic either. Well, at least Doux was getting somewhere. It’s a start. Y/n was content with this. Jim would warm up to Douxie eventually. It didn’t have to be right away, even if she would have liked that.

After the dinner conversation had died down and the food long gone, Y/n set out to clear the table and clean the kitchen. Barbara also went to help her, but Douxie assured her he’d take care of it. He was a world class waiter after all. He stacked up the plates as Y/n grabbed the dinner dishes. And so the two set off to the world behind the wall, to clean or canoodle or whatever. Jim wasn’t too keen on thinking about it. His mother pulled him into the living room to sit on the couch and preceded to ask him twenty questions about Claire. He was almost happy when the lovebirds came back.

And then his mother made them all play some card game for three hours straight. All while the lovebirds flirted away right in front of them. It was like they had no shame. This guy just had to have Y/n under a spell or something, Jim was sure of it. There was no other explanation. As she giggled at another one of Douxie’s stupid jokes that weren’t even funny, Jim felt sick.

Finally it came time for that douchebag to leave. Jim rolled his eyes at his mother and sister fawning over Doux as he made his way to the door. He slinked over behind them to watch the guy leave and make sure that he left. As Douxie went through the door he gave Y/n a quick peck and said the stupidest line Jim had ever heard. Who does this guy think he is. Once the door was shut and Doux had indeed walked away, Jim scoffed.

“Bet that guy has a bank of pickup lines he’s memorized. There’s no way he came up with that on the fly.”

***

Jim was furious. He fought like a madman during training. Draal was just making it worse by encouraging it; he really liked the kid’s fire today. Draal had no idea what was up with him right now, but Jim was giving it his all. The trollhunter was rarely this aggressive. Blinky looked on as Jim growled and shouted with every strike. He hadn’t seen his son frothing at the mouth like this before. It was glorious. Keep this up and Angor Rot won’t know what hit him.

Claire and Toby were also training, with Arrggh, albeit with not even half as much gusto as Jimbo. They were also a wee bit distracted, trying to wind Jim down from said gusto. He came over to where they were to get some water. Taking this opportunity, Toby tried appealing to him once again.

“Dude, give it a rest, this is just like how you got all pissy about your mom dating Strickler.” Toby was exasperated.

“Y/n can’t date guys, my mother can’t date guys, no men should be frequently invited into our household! No boys allowed! Me and Toby are the only boys allowed!” Jim growled. He stormed off across the keep to go land another hit on Draal.

Blinky blinked. He was taken aback at the hostility from his charge. “So, do either of you have any idea as to what that was about.”

“Right now the winning theory is that this is like, about how heartbroken his mother was when his dad left, so now he doesn’t want that to happen again or something,” Claire sighed. Her teacher really was a good guy. Lonely too. Just like Y/n. They were going to be good for each other. Her boyfriend should be happy for them. Jim took a particularly dirty swipe at Draal. Toby grunted in sympathy. “Or maybe Douxie just poked Arcadia’s most possessive bear.”

***

Jim and Toby were walking downtown, enjoying their free time after a trollhunting mission on this fine Sunday afternoon. That is, until they came in sight of the bookstore. Jim felt that bitter feeling in his stomach again. He knew Y/n wasn’t working today. Douchey would be all alone. Now was his chance to confront this and end it before it got any worse. Toby noticed the malice in his eyes as he stomped towards the bookstore.

“Woah dude, what’re you doing?”

“I’m just going to have a little chat with Mr. Casperan that’s all.”

Toby threw his head back in exasperation. “There no talking you out of this is there?”

“Nope”

The bell jingled as they walked in. The bookshop smelled like Christmas. And Jim was about to try and talk politics with his racist uncle at the dinner table. Douxie came over and greeted them cheerily.

“Good afternoon, lads. Looking for any book in particular?”

“I’m not a part of this. I just happen to be with him physically.” Toby quickly asserted. Douxie quirked a brow at the odd statement. Jim pushed forward aggressively. Doux had the sense to back away from the boy.

“I’m onto you, wizard. Just what did you do to my sister? Did you slip her a love potion? Is that bracelet she’s been wearing charmed?” Jim growled. Toby cringed on the sidelines.

Douxie blinked. “Excuse me?”

“There’s no other explanation for your ‘relationship’. You’ve got to be magicking her. And I won’t just sit here and let it happen. That’s my sister and it’s my job to protect her from creeps like you.”

Douxie took in the boys words, and a deep breath. He tried his best not to sound too defensive and provoke the kid further, “Okay, wow. That’s quite an accusation there, friend.” He moved away from where the boy had backed him into a bookshelf. “You know, out of all that you just implied, the part I think I’m most offended by is the fact that you’d think I’d mess with Y/n’s free will like that.”

Douxie straightened some books on a nearby display. “You know Jim, when it comes to love-” Jim stormed out of the bookstore before Doux could take his lecture any further, grabbing Toby by the arm so he’d follow. Toby mouthed a big ‘I’m sorry’ to Doux as he was pulled out of the store.

***

Jim’s pencil felt abused. He was furiously scribbling the answers to his homework with a heavy hand. He still had a lot of pent up rage, even after accosting poor Doux. After snapping his lead for the seventh time in the hour, Jim decided that switching subjects to Spanish instead of math for a bit might help him calm down. He moved to his bed to start the assigned reading. He laid on his stomach, propping up his head in his hands to see his textbook. His blue eyes perused the paragraphs punctuated by cheesy cartoons. He was halfway through the third page when a knock came at his door. Taking a deep breath, he called for whoever it was to let themselves in. His sister stepped into view.

Jim ran a hand through his dark hair. Here comes the scolding. He didn’t even have to ask if Y/n had heard about what he’d done today. If Douxie himself hadn’t told her then Tobes certainly did. Jim wasn’t proud of it, now that it was all said and done. He knew he deserved whatever Y/n was about to dish out. He sat up and crisscrossed his legs. She pulled his desk chair over and sat backwards in it so that she was facing him on the bed.

That’s it. No scolding came. She just sat and looked at him, neutral faced. He squirmed at the nothing. She lifted up the coffee mug in her hands and took a slow sip, not breaking eye contact with him. Jim began to sweat. He tried to avoid her gaze by looking down at the floor, but he could still feel her eyes upon him. Sighing, he had to admit defeat.

“Okay, so I do feel bad about what I said to Douxie today.” He looked back up to meet Y/n’s eyes. She raised a brow. “It was wrong of me to jump to conclusions like that, I’m sorry.”

Y/n appeared to be satisfied by that. A smile spread across her face and she nodded to him. She stood up, and ruffled his hair on her way out. Still refusing to break her silence, she motioned for him to follow her downstairs.

***

Y/n set her coffee cup down on the table. She pulled another mug out of the cabinet for Jim. Grabbing the coffee pot from its nest under the coffeemaker, she filled Jim’s mug and topped off her own. Sliding the mug across the table to Jim, she sat down. Jim could smell the aromas of the several colorful dishes baking that he could see through the screen of the oven door. Strange, it was already half past nine. There was cinnamon in the air, so at least one of those dishes contained dessert. Jim’s stomach growled at the thought.

“You know I’m not the one you should have to apologize to, Jimbo.”

“I know, I know,” He looked at the ground, “I’ll go talk to him tomorrow after school.”

Silence filled the kitchen again. Y/n took a sip of coffee. This conversation was going to be hard. She wasn’t particularly looking forward to it. She opened her mouth to speak, but stopped. She took yet another long sip of coffee to figure out a good enough way to word this. She took a breath.

“So, uh- listen Jimbo. I- I know it’s tough, ya know, with it just being us. And our family’s tight because of it. But you can’t get so protective that new people can’t join it. Or even try.”

Jim took a breath, “I know it’s just, I-, what happens when we, when you, get so attached to him, and he decides that he doesn’t care for you anymore. When he turns out to be bad. When he just disappears. Like- like they do.”

“Oh, Jim,” She reached across the table for his hand. “That’s my risk to take, Jim. I fully recognize that what I’m doing is hazardous and I could get hurt really bad. But I still chose to do it. I choose it every day. We all do, when we fall in love.”

Jim took a sip and lingered, staring into his cup. “Yeah, I guess you’re right,” He chuckled, “I know I’d be devastated if Claire ever wizened up and left me.”

“Look, you gotta trust me okay? Douxie isn’t dad or Strickler. I promise. He’s kind. I trust him. After you apologize, I think you really should start to make an effort to get to know him. If not for me, for Claire dude. And I think you’ll really like him. Promise you’ll give him a chance?”

Jim sighed in defeat. “Alright. I promise.”

She stood up and stretched out her back, making those stretching noises that people do. She checked the food in the oven. The buns were ready, but the quiche still needed a few minutes. She took out the pans and put them on the cooling rack. After fanning them for a few seconds, she turned to Jim, “So you want a spinach bun or a cinnamon bun?”

“How is that a question?” Jim laughed.

“Spinach bun it is then,” She teased as she tossed him the cinnamon one.

“What’s all this for anyway?” He gestured to the oven and the buns.

“Oh, uh, its actually for a date tonight?” She looked warry of how he’d react.

“Okay,” He guessed now would be as good a time as ever to start letting this go, “You crazy kids have fun.” Y/n laughed, relived.

Douxie had just finished up the sweeping and was ready to close up. As he headed to towards the front doors, he took one last look around the place to make sure he didn’t miss anything. All clean and tidy. Whoever opened tomorrow would appreciate it. He flipped the neon sign from open to nope and started locking up. Which is when his girlfriend pounced on him and almost gave him a heart attack. She just appeared out of thin air to tackle him into a hug. Scared the living daylights out of him. Y/n apologized profusely when she noticed him freak out but was still snickering between sorries so she probably didn’t mean it. He asked her just what the hell she was doing here and she picked up a picnic basket that was on the ground to show him.

“I just knew a certain wizard hadn’t eaten yet tonight.”

***

Y/n felt the ground beneath her back through the picnic blanket. The new spring growth had made them a cushion of sorts. Her head rested in the crook of Douxie’s shoulder as his arm was wrapped around her. It was nice here. Comfy. She could smell his hair and feel his chest move as he breathed. Their heartbeats made a nice rhythm to accompany the cricket song and the noise of the trees swaying. The stars were so lovely tonight. Stellar.

Douxie broke the quiet. “So I brushed up on my astrology.”

“Oh yeah?” Y/n quirked her brow. Astrology was one of her biggest interests. She’d loved it since her grandmother had given her a book about it when she was small. It was a well-worn, well-loved book. Her grandmother had handwritten things in the margins too. She’d been talking Douxie’s ears off about it during work earlier that week. Something was just so fascinating about how there were gorgeous balls of light in the sky that could tell you the future. There really was magic embedded in the fabric of the universe. It was sweet that he would care enough to learn about her interests. Very sweet indeed. The fact that he went out of his way just so he could talk to her about something she loved? Tooth-rotting. She wasn’t sure if her heart sped up because she was excited to talk about astrology or because of the sugar rush he just gave her.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve needed to look at constellations, we do have GPS now, but I think I remember enough,” He pointed to the sky, “That’s Pisces, right?”

“Yes!” Y/n couldn’t stop herself from smiling so wide her cheeks hurt.

“And that’s Aries, which marks the beginning of spring,” He looked back at Y/n who nodded to him, “oh, and look! We can see Venus tonight.”

“Hey Douxie, I love you. And You’re really making me want to kiss you right now.”

He chuckled and wiggled his eyes brows teasingly, “Ah, yes, I am aware of the effect I have.” She rolled her eyes and put her hand on his face to push him away. If he saw the blush creeping up on her, he’d just get flirtier. She wasn’t sure she could handle that. Something caught her eye and instantly stole her attention.

“Look! A shooting star! Make a wish Doux.” She pointed to the streak of light that flashed.

“I don’t need wishes when I’m here with you, Love.” If her face was pink before it was bright red now.

Y/n hid her face in her hands, “No! You were supposed to say something silly,” She came back up to look him in the eyes, “not something that makes me want to kiss you even more.”

He leaned his head in closer, “Well, what’s stopping you, Y/n”

Well, that was obviously a dare. She couldn’t not kiss him now. So she did. They melted into it instantly. At first it was sweet and slow, but they got a bit hungrier, and the kiss got a bit sloppier. Douxie smelled like the bookstore, Y/n loved the smell of the bookstore. It was everything safe in her life. He was everything safe in her life. Her best friend. He brought his hand up to cup her cheek. He loved how her lips just fit together with his perfectly. Y/n Lake was everything he’d been waiting for all these years. Soft and kind, with such a beautiful heart. Not to mention, a badass. Yet, even with all his ancient baggage, she still cared for him. Made him feel like new again. Out of all the wizards of Arcadia Oaks, she chose him. He still couldn’t believe it. They pulled apart way sooner than either of them wanted, but they did have to breathe, so it had to be done. Locked in Douxie’s gaze, Y/n broke the intensity to giggle.

“But really, I was setting you up for a joke. You know what you could have done with that, Doux?” She teased.

“I’ll remember that for next time, Love.”

“Ah, they’re super rare. This is the first time I’ve ever seen one in all my stargazing years.”

“Well, we’ve got plenty of time to see the next one. And the next one. All the shooting stars you want. Only seeing them every few decades could make them a special little thing for us.” He said so nonchalantly, as if he hadn’t just implied that he expected their love to last for countless decades. As if it were a given. Suddenly it hit her. She could live thousands of years by his side. She would live thousands of years by his side. This was it. She wasn’t even sure humans could turn this vivid a shade of red. Y/n’s heart was gonna pop if it beat any harder.

“Stars, are you just hellbent on making me combust tonight? It too hot out here for this.” Douxie just laughed, a twinkle in his eye. She focused on her beloved stars to calm her down. She sighed, “The stars really are beautiful tonight.”

“You know what else is beautiful?”

“Me?”

“You- aww, you’ve heard that one.”

Y/n’s snort rung in the air. So, he does just have a bank of pick-up lines he’s pulling from. Interesting. Guess it must be tough having to be Arcadia’s most charming waiter. They stilled again. The comfortable silence embraced them. And they could have basked in it all night, if Douxie had not a burning question he had been waiting to ask his beloved.

“So- uh,” She looked to him expectedly, “Do you think there’s life out there?”

Y/n tried not to laugh too hard with Douxie’s very serious tone, “Yeah, yeah I do.”

Now it was Douxie’s turn to smile so wide his cheeks hurt. “Really?”

“Yeah,” She said, “I think it’d be kinda arrogant to assume that with all that vastness up there that we’re the only ones who exist.”

“That’s a really good point.” Douxie said excitedly. He pulled her tighter into his embrace and snuggled. “I think I’m going to use that on Zoe next time she tries to tell me that I’m crazy and aliens aren’t real.”

“Yeah Babe! Win that argument!” Y/n encouraged.

She peppered his face with kisses. That big smile stayed on his face as he closed his eyes in delight. He repaid her with a nose kiss. And she repaid that by starting another snogging session.

***

Little did they know that shoot star was really aliens akiriddion spaceship crash 3below wait shit the akiriddions landed in like season two and ive set this in one ugh just pretend like this makes sense hfhadhiufs

[smuggsy]

heyo! If you feel like a prompt, I'll offer up one for the flyboys? How about, “Am I going to die?" pls <3

Thank you! I always feel like writing for these two! Two prompts in a day, wow, this is unheard of. I would feel accomplished except I should've been working on an essay for my medieval history class so I only feel guilty lmao.

Anyway. Here, have some pining idiots. Bit of angst sprinkled in but really this is just Collins biting off more than he can chew. You know I love putting him in these situations #sorrynotsorry.

Collins has always been the heavier drinker. He's more easy-going, always accepting pints from the younger lads and beating them at cards and joining in on their bets when dark clouds loom close to the ground and they're allowed to leave for the day.

It's usually Farrier keeping him in check, walking him back to base late at night and watching carefully from behind, giving him space but close enough to grab in case he trips over his feet after a good amount of beer has numbed his reflexes.

Collins naively assumes Farrier isn't a booze lover. Isn't that into alcohol in general; he never has more than two pints, not even when Collins refuses to indulge in it does Farrier let himself get too comfortable at the bar or at a table.

Never when Collins is with him, anyway. This is a thought that has just recently taken form, as in, about ten minutes ago when Collins caught up with the group at the local pub after returning from his daily rounds.

Today he walks into the crowded place brimming with pilots as a thunderstorm announces itself outside, and when he takes a seat next to his wingmate on the far-off corner from the door he finds Farrier doesn't look up to meet his gaze.

"Evening," Collins greets, but he's not sure he's heard him over the music and incessant chatting of their peers.

Even if he does, Farrier pays him no mind.

To say that Collins is instantly bugged by it is an understatement. Farrier stares down at something in his lap, he's hunched down and sports a permanent frown and the overall sight of him just looks wrong.

"Ey, alright?"

He realises, but only once Farrier snaps his head up, that his eyes are a bit too glassy, his breath smelling a bit too strong when he sighs in Collins' direction.

"What? Oh, hey."

Collins only sees the paper in a flash, before Farrier tucks it back into the inner pocket of his jacket. The quick motion clearly meant to keep it away from prying eyes is the only reason Collins doesn't ask. Yet.

"Having fun?" he says instead with a smile, trying to brush away the sudden heaviness of a conversation that hasn't even started, and he leans back on his own seat and surveys the table in front. He counts at least five empty pints close enough to Farrier's side.

"Fun," Farrier scoffs with a shake of his head.

Collins finds the irony dripping from the word so strong and uncharacteristic that he leans over and takes a chug or two of his own beer.

"Let them have fun," his mate continues, gesturing vaguely towards the youngest recruits fooling about on the dancefloor, "they don't know what's fucking coming."

At that, Collins can't help but stare.

He gently places his pint back on the table and doesn't tear his eyes away from Farrier, now stumbling out of his chair looking much drunker than he did just a second ago.

"M'gonna head back," he says, trying to walk past Collins who only manages to move his chair back once Farrier's already on the other side.

"It'll be pouring outside!"

Just then, a thunder rumbles low and menacing under the sweet voice of The Andrews Sisters coming off the gramophone. Farrier stops dead in his tracks for a moment and just when Collins thinks he's going to turn around and sit back down, he shrugs and walks away.

"Ah, s'only a bit of rain, innit..."

He only stops by the bar to pay for his round of drinks, pushing through one or two excited couples dancing away the night and apologizing to one of the gals for almost stepping on her foot.

Collins watches the whole exchange from his spot, a bit taken aback by Farrier so easily brushing him off.

He gives himself a few moments to feel hurt and then he stands up and pays for his own unfinished pint, only catching up to him as he rounds the corner and the first droplets of rain start announcing a hell of a storm.

"Yer gonna be wet straight through if ya walk back now!"

"Yeah," Farrier says over his shoulder, lighting a cigarette and sending a sour smile Collins' way, "I am."

His gaze seems only a bit clearer as he stares Collins down, giving him a once over and taking in the sight with an approving nod. It makes something in Collins' stomach turn.

In a good way.

"You go back though, get yourself a nice bird to dance with. Put in all that effort to walk me back like I'm your granny?"

With the dragging of his words and the cigarette he keeps firmly placed in between his lips, Collins almost doesn't understand him.

He lets out an emotionless laugh and starts walking again when Farrier does.

"What effort? I always look like this."

Farrier blows away the smoke and nods again.

"You do."

"Something happen?"

There it is. He asks.

Farrier almost halts, just almost. He looks like he's about to answer but then the cigarette is back in his mouth and he openly ignores his question for a whole minute. Collins gets the cue but he still doesn't turn back. He figures he can play chaperone tonight, like Farrier's done with him so many times before.

Except, he's always ranting on after his round of pints and his wingmate's not much of a talker. No way to fill in the awkward silence. Collins can't help himself.

"You got mail," he tries again, a statement, just a simple comment that doesn't mean any harm and it definitely doesn't mean to make Farrier turn around like that - like he's properly annoyed at him for asking. For caring.

"Just go back," Farrier bites out, harshly, "you just got 'ere. Go on, don't lemme spoil your night."

"You're not."

"Collins..."

"I'll go if you really want me to."

That makes Farrier look at him again, truly look at him like the words have taken a bit of the alcohol off his blood and sobered him up. He stares for a long moment and then starts walking again without a word. Failing to answer again but answering nonetheless.

The lamp-posts they walk past light up the heavier drops of rain as if warning them of what's to come. Collins' hair is still wet from the shower so he doesn't feel much of a difference.

"You're a good kid, Jackie," Farrier says after a while, hands in the pockets of his trousers and looking up to the moonless sky. When he does, he seems to lose a bit of balance that he quickly regains before Collins can actually grab his arm to steady him.

He reckons it's better he didn't get to, judging by Farrier's general snappiness tonight. Can't be completely sure his help would be welcomed. 

"What did you just call me?" he teases with a grin.

He sees a smile tug at Farrier's lips.

"A good kid."

Jackie.

"I'm twenty-fuckin'-five, thank you very much!"

At last, Farrier lets out a laugh. Collins feels like a heavy weight's been lifted off his shoulders.

"You're a fuckin' tease, s'what you are."

It's just as well that mother nature stops him as he intends to give an answer, because the words get stuck in his throat at the implication of that sentence.

The sky goes white for a split second, lightning flaring up above their heads before the cracking of thunder seems to switch on the merciless pouring rain once and for all. They're already far enough that they'd still end up drenched from head to toe even if they walked back to the pub.

"Shit, come on!"

Farrier starts running forward, where there's a couple of leafy pines by the road before the clearing starts the path back to the airbase: a very long and tree-deserted runway and training field.

In short, they're fucked.

Farrier beats him to the cover of the canopy and Collins thinks that perhaps he wasn't that drunk after all.

"Quicker in the air than on the ground, eh lad?"

"Want to race me, old man?"

"Nah, wouldn't want that spotless suit wrecked with mud."

Collins turns to answer and finds Farrier grinning at him playfully, looking him up and down again for the second time in twenty minutes - the spark in his eyes doesn't go unnoticed because he's never caught him staring so openly before. It makes his pulse quicken and turns his filter off.

"You really like me in my suit, dontcha?"

Farrier's next words sound fuelled by beer, as does that almost imperceptible lick of his lips.

"Why, of course I do."

He looks away to the curtain of falling rain in front of them, pooling down on the grass, and he shakes his head and talks so low that Collins almost doesn't hear him again.

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"I'm drunk."

"Yeah, I know. Ye keep lookin' at me like ye want to eat me or somethin'."

Farrier snaps his head back to look at him, mouth half-open like a fish out of the water - like he can't quite believe what he's just heard, and Collins panics, thinks he's misread the situation completely (thinks that even if he didn't, he really shouldn't have called Farrier on it because, as his wingmate so bluntly put it, he is drunk). Thinks that's a very reckless and stupid thing to say and that he hasn't even downed half a pint of beer so he can't even use that as an excuse.

Collins stares back, for a moment he considers stepping away, jumping over that poodle increasing in size and running away in whichever opposite direction Farrier means to walk.

Try and pretend he didn't fuck this up royally.

"Well, would you want me to?" Farrier blurts out all of a sudden, openly staring at Collins' lips and neck and cheeks and hair now.

"What?"

"I said, would you want me to."

Another lightning. Farrier's face is so close that Collins can count the scattered freckles on his nose and cheeks where stray drops of rain slide down on his skin. He has very long eyelashes.

"Eat you or something."

The thunder following the light drowns out that pitiful noise that escapes Collins' throat. He feels drowsy like he's the one who spent hours sitting down at that table in the wet sweet air of the pub gulping down pint after pint.

Farrier is very, very drunk even if he doesn't look like it anymore.

He must be.

Collins wonders: if he answers truthfully, will Farrier remember it tomorrow?

"Yeah," his wingmate snickers, and after what feels like ages he takes the slightest step back and smiles that sour smile from before, fishing another cigarette out of his pack and putting it between his lips, "thought so. Pretty boy like you."

Pretty boy like– what the fuck's that supposed to mean?

"Answer me this, Collins. Am I going to die?"

And just like that, the conversation steers away from longing looks and unspoken words. Farrier's back to smoking that ciggy that's already wet and his hands return to his pockets and Collins feels he's just lost an opportunity that isn't going to arise again any time soon.

"What?" he repeats, like a broken record, refusing to let his own eyes derail from Farrier's face, refusing to look away to the falling of rain, the runway, the clearing, the town far away like Farrier himself is doing. Refusing to let the moment go.

"What are my chances? What are our chances?"

Collins shakes his head in frustration.

"Surviving this shit. Let me tell you: they're very thin. So it's better this way. I mean, it's me but– well it's just not worth it, is it? Forget it."

"Forget. Forget what? Tom, the fuck are you on about? Is this about that letter?"

"Fuck that letter."

He tosses the cigarette to the ground.

There's no remorse in the words, no hatred despite Farrier turning back to him and suddenly standing up straight, shoulders broad, gaze unwavering and challenging. Collins is still a bit taller but that doesn't mean he feels taller.

"I– sorry I– didn't mean to–"

"My fiancée," Farrier cuts him off, cocking his head and studying Collins' reaction for a moment before continuing, "got killed. A bombing over Portsmouth."

He drags the paper out and almost shoves it in Collins' face, who just stands there at a loss for words, again. Stammering like a broken record, again.

"I–," didn't know you were engaged, "–sorry, I'm sorry that happened."

He wants to kick himself for his lack of eloquence but it's the least of his concerns because he was just flirting with Farrier a moment ago, and Farrier was leading him on for some fucking reason – a fiancée?

That tends to mean one's attracted to women.

A dead fiancée.

"Sorry, Tom."

"Don't be."

Another lightning, another thunder, more heavy rain and Collins is already starting to feel the cold reach through his layers of clothes.

"I'm not. Fuck, I'm relieved!"

Farrier runs a hand over his face.

"I'm– fuck."

"It's okay," Collins offers uselessly.

"She's dead and I'm relieved I don' have to marry her. How fucked up is that?"

Collins thinks he hears a cry, and when Farrier tries to look away again he knows he heard a cry, and he doesn't let him turn around and steps forward to hold him in a tight embrace instead. Farrier wraps his arms around him tightly like he'd been waiting for Collins to hug him.

"I'm fucking horrible," he says, words muffled in the fabric of Collins' suit and sniffing through a runny nose. Jack keeps a hand rubbing at Farrier's back in what he hopes is an empathetic touch.

"No you're not, you're not."

They stay like that, holding onto one another against the trunk of a tree that's doing a really poor job of sheltering them from the rain at this point, but is better than nothing. Farrier doesn't really cry, stubborn as he is even in this state of inebriation, and after a while Collins feels his stubbly chin brushing against the side of his neck and smells the scent of alcohol again.

"I like it when you use my name," Farrier mumbles, words still muffled and burrowing his nose in Collins' shirt like it belongs there.

Collins' only thought at that moment, frozen and unable to say anything back, is that Drunk Farrier is a real piece of work. He thinks he understands, now, why he doesn't drink.

[domesticblisss]

On the Second Floor

Jay White x Female Reader Rating: Mature (Minors DNI) Word Count: 1495 Warnings: Smut. Alcohol mention, PiV, oral (male receiving), mild degradation (a little name calling), (very, very) slight dom/sub undertones, public sex. Summary: Jay White takes an instant liking to the reader. A/N: First time writing anyone outside Timperium, hope it’s good. Also, I’m sorry in advance lmao.

You would think that after three months of moving to and living in Tokyo I would have gotten to know its nightlife and truth is, I haven’t. And it is not because I don’t want but I have been so tired that my friday nights consists of drinking plum wine while eating a TV dinner and falling asleep before 10pm. 

I have decided to change that this week and as of right now, I am dressed in the tightest and shortest dress I could find in my closet on my way to a club I can’t even remember the name of, but I trust Aika’s and Chie’s choices. 

Aika, Chie and I met on the magazine we work for, they were the first people to approach me, and we hit off instantly. 

“Can’t believe we finally got you to leave the house!” Aika exclaimed excitedly. 

“Well, I had to eventually. Can’t be living in such a beautiful country and just stay locked inside forever.”

“Trust me, you’re going to love this place.” Chie added, with a mysterious tone in her voice. 

There was a line to get inside when we arrived, with at least 20 people ahead of us. After a 10-minute wait, a black SUV stops right by our side, and five men come out from it. Tall, big, scary looking, handsome men. 

One of them stands out to me. He is the last one to get out of the car, tall, muscular, long black hair in a half bun and a beard. The beard is... a choice, but it makes him look very hot. 

He is not one bit sly when he looks at me, makes sure to stop right in front of me, looks me up and down and gives me the smallest smile, one that if I wasn’t paying enough attention, I would have missed it. 

He and his entourage make their way to the entrance of the club, he fist-bumps the bouncer and gets in without any trouble. 

Not three minutes later, the hostess comes up to us, asking to follow her and takes us inside. She sits us in a booth and says “Welcome, girls! All your orders are already paid for the night, feel free to ask for whatever you desire. Mr. White sends his regards.” she winks at me and leaves. 

“Mr. White?” I ask Aika and Chie, both of them with surprised looks on their faces. 

“Jay White? The leader of Bullet Cl–“ Aika is interrupted. 

“The rat looking dude that was eye fucking you outside.”

“Chie!”

“What? He was eye fucking her.”

“You know that is not what I meant.” Aika reprimanded her. “Anyway, do you know how lucky you are??? He comes here every single week, stays on the VIP lounge right there” she slyly points to a glass box room on the upper floor, directly in front of us, with a privileged view to our booth, “he never talks to anyone, he never leaves his booth. He comes here and stays there while his friends have their fun. Do you have any idea how many women has tried their way with him, and he doesn’t give a slight nod? Do you know how many women would kill to be where you are?” Aika looked at me excitedly. 

“Lucky me I guess.”

Chie was about to start talking again when a waitress arrived with a bottle of Dom Perignon. 

“A gift from Mr. White.” the bubbly waiters said as she set the bottle of champagne down and handed me a card. 

I thanked her and opened the card. 

“C’mon, what does it say?” Chie asked. 

“Meet me at the lounge in 10. They’ll let you in. -J”

“You’re going.” It was Aika’s turn now. 

“I guess?”

“No, I’m not asking, I’m telling you, you are going.”

“Fine! I am.” I finished my glass of champagne and went to the bathroom to retouch my make-up. 

Those few minutes I spent alone were enough to make my head go into overdrive. From the little I have heard from this guy, he seems to be on the verge of a breakdown. All I have ever heard was that he is rough, violent, and vicious, and apparently that was enough for my brain to stop working and for the rest of my body to act on its own will. 

It happened just like he said it would happen. I got the door of his lounge and the security guards let me in without questions. 

“Princess! You actually came!” he said, coming to greet me and took my hands in his. “I’m Jay and these are my friends, Gedo, Kenta, Tama and Chase.” they either nodded or waved at me. 

“Nice to meet you.”

“Well, introductions are over, and they are going to give us some privacy. Go on, lads.” he waited for the four of them to leave to keep going. “I gave you my name, but you never told me yours, princess.”

“Amy.” I lied. 

“Something tells me this is not your real name.”

“Well, it’s the one you’re getting.” I smiled sweetly at him. 

“Feisty! I like that!”

“What do you want from me, Mr. White?”

“Mr. White... you really know how to get a man to his knees, don’t you princess?” he said, his face so close to mine, his grey eyes boring into mine and a smirk on his slips, all while he gently caressed my hair. “I brought you here because I want you. I need to have you.” he whispered the last part in my ear. 

“And why should I do this?”

“Because I’m the champion, princess! Because I always get what I want.”

“I need something else.” I teased him. 

“Well, it really looks like you need get some and I am going to ruin you for every other man and woman that comes into your life.”

My body betrayed me, and I kissed him. A hard, teeth clashing, lip biting kiss. Jay is rough, heavy handed and loses no time in taking my dress off. 

“You’re perfect, aren’t you princess?” he said, taking his pants and underwear off in one swift move and sat down on the leather couch in the middle of the room. His length was already semi hard, precum leaking from it. 

“Beg, princess.” 

“Could I please suck your cock, Mr. White?”

“I need something better, princess.”

“Please, let me suck your cock, Mr. White. I need it.” I made sure to use my best pouty lips begging face. 

“There you go, princess. Go on. It’s all yours.”

His cock was big, long with an average girth. I licked a stripe from his balls to the tip, gathering saliva and spitting on it before swallowing what I could from him, my hands working on what I could take in. He took his hands to my hair, holding it into a ponytail and started moving his hips, surprisingly slow, making sure I wouldn’t gag. He pulled me off when he started to feel his orgasm coming, a long drool line still connecting us, to which he made the show of collecting and rubbing on my lips and left cheek. 

“You really are perfect, aren’t you, princess? I can’t finish this without you getting what you deserve. Get up!” he took my hand and guided me to the glass wall that secured his booth from the rest of the club. 

He pressed me against it, making a show of pulling my bra down and slowing getting his right hand inside of my panties. 

“Oh, you like being watched, don’t you?” I nodded. “Look, look how wet you are. My princess is a dirty little slut, isn’t she?”

I could only nod, moaning because of how his nimble fingers were touching my clit. He shoved my panties aside and slowly inserted himself, lifting my right leg so he could position himself better. He wasn’t as slow and soft as he was when he was face fucking me, his thrusts were deep, fast and rough, the fingers on my bundle of nerves following the same rhythm. 

“Jay, fuck. Please don’t stop.”

He turned me to him, snaking my legs around his waist. I held tight to his gold chain. 

“Jay, I’m–“

“I’m right there too princess, let go.”

3, 2, 1

My vision turned white, body trembling, all I could hear was his groans as he bit my shoulder and I felt both of mine and his arousal run down my legs. 

His maniacal laughter started, holding me tighter to him and helping me sit back down on the couch. 

“Do you want some water, princess?”

“Mhm.”

“You know,” he started as he made his way to the minibar “I actually liked it better when you called me Jay.”

“Okay, Jay.” I smiled at him, taking the water bottle from his hands. 

“So, next week, same place, same time?”

“Sure, of course.” I panted. 

Yeah, I was completely ruined.

[tscmu]

first dates with haikyuu boys :)

pt 1. - msby black jackals

genre; kinda fluff idk?? just kinda cute early relationship tings

warnings; secondhand embarassment, lil suggestive comments ( from atsumu who am i kidding )

characters; bokuto, atsumu, hinata + sakusa

all characters r timeskip and 18+ !!

koutarou bokuto

- bruh youd be terrified for this date like.. a guy youve hardly spoken to with a massive personality asking you to meet him at a tiny cafe.. ok

- hed love tiny cafes though like the ones nobody are in so its just you two.. AWH

- dates wouldnt be a massive thing to him so youd be dressed up casual formal with light makeup on and hed strut off the bus in his kit literally sweating, just left practice and youd be like 😳

- you wouldve met him at a club like a week back when you were both off your faces and youd wake up the next morning with no idea what happened the night before, just like 10 texts from someone with the contact name ‘BokJUt OWks MAn’ asking you on a date.. why wouldnt u say yeah??

- it would go rly well !!

- i think itd be a bit slow at first, like youre both describing your lives when.. it happens

- youre both just aimlessly chatting, both tuning in and out of conversation waiting for the food to come when.. you hear it. the thing that you did that you thought NOBODY else did. and he does it.

- “and one of my roommates tsumu always yells at me because i collect stamps-” “WAIT YOU COLLECT STAMPS?? ME TOO BRUH”

- youd both have a joint aneurysm literally

- after that youd be infatuated with eachother ITD BE SO CUTE

- youd get the bill both like a lil tipsy, heading further into the town to just go window shopping in the moonlight

- UWUWUWUWUWUWU pls

- then hed accidentally set off the jewellery shop alarm pointing at a pretty ring and poking the glass too hard-

- when your taxi came he’d be really sad.. then as you close the door hed just jump in and find his own way home HAHAHA

- 10/10 date would do again.. and you did

atsumu miya

- oh you would be EXCITED

- until you found out his suggestion.. one of his own fucking games

- you just cut it down to the fact that he was a personal volleyball player, he was probably busy, yk?? but no it was because he wanted to show off to you🙄🙄

- you met him on the street like he literally picked you up on the street.. only he yall only he 

- well of course you liked him have you seen him 

- you exchanged numbers and were texting for like a week ( where he just begged you to come to a game ) before finally you said ok

- because its a date you didnt wanna bring along someone else so you just kinda showed up on your own and followed the crowd.. before finding out you were on the WRONG SIDE OF THE COURT

- he teased you about this for years to come and you wanted to burst out crying every time

- after finally finding the right seat on the RIGHT SIDE, the players came out and.. lets say you were surprised

- you didnt know that much about volleyball beforehand but.. d a m n

- those uniforms were hot😳😳

- the game went well and they won ( to his extreme happiness ), and then you finally got to meet him again

- it was subtle at first, like while he was signing shirts hed look over his shoulder and wink or something lmao

- thats until hinata and bokuto got to the area you were at and went feral, killing tsumus whole vibe HAHA

- “OH SHIT THATS THE GIRL HE INVITED!!” “WAIT IS IT- OH HI Y/N!! HES BEEN TALKING ABOUT YOU FOR AGES HE EVEN JE-” “BRO FUCK OFF”

- to which you just laughed your head off about

- bro he gave you a kiss on the cheek when he walked over making all the fangirls go absolutely feral.. twitter talked abt it for AGES even after you revealed you were dating 2 months after it happened

- you had to wait around for HOURS whilst he talked to interviewers.. struggles of being famous🥶‼🔥

- but it was worth it ofc

- he took you out to this lil restaurant when he finally got away and even walked u home.. such a gentleman damn

- “so when can i see you again.. and maybe a bit more ;)” “sHUT UP-”

- lets just say u definitely did that again-

shoyo hinata

- oh my god hed be more nervous than you were

- hed overdress like.. not full suit but pretty damn close

- i feel like hed not be that focused on women?? the volleyball grind comes first yk

- but when he made eye contact w you across the meeting table.. jeez he went feral

- bro when he was asked a question he couldn’t function you were just like ??

- atsumu basically had to ask you out for him after it finished he was so nervous HAHA

- you called him cute when he pulled up and he genuinely turned into a tomato like.. ushijima would farm him if he saw him

- hed book you a table at this really fancy restaurant ( with a lil financial help from kenma ) and you were genuinely shocked lmao

- i feel like youd work with the jackals as like a promoter or sumn and hed just be shocked.. like he didnt know you even existed bruh??

- because of that hed be pretending hed had his eye on you for a while ( to which you just laughed knowing he was trying to be cool )

- hed tell you to order something expensive but you knew how much those guys got paid.. yeah no.

- but hed warm up MASSIVELY like by the end of it after a glass and a bit of wine youd both be like peas in a pod literally

- youd go for a lil walk around the city centre before u found a taxi.. HED BE SO SAD LIKE HE DIDNT WANT IT TO END??

- hed go in for the kiss i know he would 

- youd be like ??? but kiss him back bc why wouldnt u hes a baby

- best date you’d had in a couple years by far

kiyoomi sakusa

- you literally wouldnt realise it was a date until the end i stg this man

- hed deadass show up to ur door and be like ‘cmon’ and youd be like EXCUSE ME SIR-

- i feel like you wouldve known eachother for at LEAST a couple months

- and he wouldve just done NOTHING like you didnt even know he felt a romantic connection to you

- but trust me he did

- he just didnt know the words to say :(

- but this is what the lads told him to do LMAO

- before u knew what was happening you were in the backseat of a taxi and he was telling them a street in the middle of the city-

- “oh we’re going out to dinner” “wha- i didnt bring my purse tho-” “eh.” literally

- you were kinda surprised because you knew how much he hated crowds and dinner in the city seemed unlike him, more like something you would enjoy

- but thats exactly why he did it 

- youd pull up and do a double take when he was asking for a table.. WHO THE FUCK WAS SITTING AT THE BACK OF THE RESTAURANT

- however after being motioned to shut up by atsumu you acted like you saw nothing

- it was just like the other times youd hung out but he was a little more.. interested in you

- not like suggestive, he just genuinely was asking about like how your day was, etc IT WAS CUTE AS HELL

- it was at that point you realised oh shit, this might be a date-

- when it was over you suggested going into the city and looking in shops for a bit, but the restaurant filled with people was enough for him lmao

- you got a taxi back and were standing outside your apartment door when he did something hed never done before

- MANS HUGGED YOU

- it was then you realised.. did he actually like you??

- spoiler he did

- and things were different between you ever since IM UWUING PLS

[phoebehalliwell]

Also i remember that you did an essay on nextgen relationship to witchcraft ??

i would like an mini essay on how each next gen tap to their other half (whitelighter and cupid) ?🥰

[this is where i’d put the link to the next gen’s relationship to witchcraft IF I COULD FIND IT] rip lmao but yeah!! bc basically everyone in the next gen is a halfling so i feel like there’s really like A Lot here like witchlighters are already just like hella rare and then pj parker and peyton are very possibly the first cupitches to exist ever y’know what i bet i can find? my mini essay on cupids & whitelighters yeah boi so i think the primary distinction between whitelighters and cupids comes down to like. head vs heart. and i know whitelighters are like innately good people who want to help others through good deeds blah blah blah but there is an inherent Logic to the process. whereas cupids are just a lot more fuck around/find out. it’s the same thing with orbing vs. beaming orbing you think of a place and you’re there beaming you feel a place. if pj and melinda were to swap bodies neither of them would be able to teleport. so i think the way that they were raised/trained also impacts that a lot so let’s go chronological order and start with wyatt

so, full disclaimer here, i am going off my own writings here as there are some blanks left in canon (i.e. who has what powers) also i made leo a whitelighter again bc like. a) i wanted to b) melinda’s a witchlighter which would be objectively fucking weird if leo was not a whitelighter ik the comics had this whole think about ~latent whitelighter dna~ but like girl what. and then also c) and i’ve talked about paige and motherhood before but i really don’t think paige wants to whitelighter for her kids bc she doesn’t want to be viewed as like,, as business associate to them bc that’s weird it’s one thing for your brother in law to be your whitelighter it’s a whole new can of worms for your mom to be your whitelighter. on top of that paige is still a charmed one and a witch so like. she definitely does not have the time to be the entire halliwell family’s whitelighter. but leo’s right there just give him healing and orbing hell he loves being a whitelighter just reinstate him. like come on. amirite lads? it doesn’t matter if i’m right or not this is my story and i’m sticking 2 it. okay let’s rock n roll

wyatt powers are projection, orbing, orb shield, healing, telekinesis, telekinetic orbing and he is a half split mother’s a witch father’s a whitelighter. i mean i think wyatt was really definitely as like The Witchlighter like at magic school all that like yes paige is a witchlighter but paige did not go to magic school and grow up around a bunch of little witches i think teleportation powers are Insanely Rare for anyone who’s not a halfling so the fact that wyatt can just. orb. he can heal. like this is Insane. but unlike a dency type situation where like these powers are so rare they basically have to be self taught i think there are a good amount of whitelighters at magic school who can teach him how to master his skills there’s also paige and leo so like. he’s pretty much covered. that and the whole whitelighter thing just really does come naturally to him like he was doing all this batshit crazy stuff from the womb like he healed piper from the brink of death at like age two. wyatt’s whitelighter powers are a fuckin breeze. i also think wyatt sort of id’s a little more as a whitelighter than a witch just bc chris is like so witchy wyatt feels like okay i must be more whitelighter by default. like chris will go out demon hunting and wyatt just like. doesn’t really want to do that so wyatt think’s it’s because he’s just more of a whitelighter more of a pacifist by nature. it’s not really it’s more just like chris is fuckin crazy but it doesn’t really matter. i also think that since wyatt is one of the only people with healing when the cousins are in trouble they almost always go to him, which only sort of adds to the Whitelighter element. i also don’t think wyatt has had any charges yet bc like. he’s really young he’s like 22. but i think he definitely will i think that’s something he would want to have. i think the elders also have some slight reservations about giving him charges bc like. very high probability he will fall in love with them.

chris powers are telekinesis, telekinetic orbing, orbing. does not feel very whitelighter at all. i mean for starters, wyatt’s totally Stacked with whitelighter powers that he just seemed to immediately have mastery over chris not so much. and it’s also like. everyone in the family Expected wyatt to have healing and then literally no one expected that of chris. like he tried he read about it all that and whenever he would try the sisters would just be like it’s okay hey you know not everyone has healing healing it’s big like not everyone can master it paige couldn’t heal til she was like 30 it’s nbd so chris is like yeah :| okay :| but it kind of bothers him how it’s like. his family just knew he wouldn’t be able to do that. and beyond that i think chris really does have this desire to prove himself in the craft to prove he’s a strong, talented, capable witch (which he is) and that’s really where he directs his focus. the power he hones the most it telekinesis. orbing and tlk orbing kinda of take a back seat simply bc they just aren’t as strong of combative powers (however, paige let him in on the insider secret that you can orb hearts of demons so that’s p fuckin cool. leo like Freaked out when paige told him this because he’s just a kid!! he doesn’t need to be hearing all of that!!! and paige is like yeah, just a kid who fights demons, leo. he’s seen worse and chris just looks at leo like yeah i mean i have and leo’s like cool gonna go have another parenting crisis). basically while chris knows he is a witchlighter he very much does not feel like one. he identifies as a witch. full stop. (side note he does not know he was the time traveller who came back to fix the timeline and if he found out and found out that he convincingly posed as a whitelighter and people actually believed him i think he’d lose it laughing)

melinda powers are empathy, orbing, telekinesis, telekinetic orbing. i think melinda views her Main Power as empathy, i think melinda considers herself to be more of a pacifist. again, this is kind of in relation to chris, so it’s like considering yourself to be short bc your brother’s 6′5″, but like. melinda is short. and she is more of a pacifist. i think given her empathy which is technically a whitelighter power tho it is much power likely she inherited the power from her aunt phoebe, she’s not really like. a fighter or a powerhouse or anything i think she also inherited piper’s want of a normal life. in my writings melinda is actually a nursing student i mean she’s a freshman in college but like. she wants to be like a nurse or a doctor she hasn’t entirely figured out how that would work with her like. Witch Schedule. but she kind of doesn’t care?? like she has a full family of charmed ones. they can save the day by magical means; she can save them by mortal ones. she also just like as a fun fact with her empathy powers can diagnose things really well because she can just like. feel what other people are feeling. so yes i think she’s really more whitelighter than witch i think if people ever saw her out and about with her whitelighter (i gave her a new whitelighter that isn’t leo in canon explanation is the elders are kind of worried the halliwells are getting a bit too cliquey little bit too much of a feedback loop there and they don’t really have the best relationship to the elders so like. now that one of them has kind of broken off into her own path they’re like okay can we give her a new whitelighter. just to kind of make sure they don’t all hate us. out of canon explanation i think it’s more fun for melinda to have a whitelighter her age instead of constantly dragging her dad to davis). i also think melinda is the most likely out of any of the next gen to receive a charge, but again, this is like, way out bc she’d like. 18. i also think she would keep her whitelighter on speed dial bc i think she’d be Super Nervous about fucking shit up like so bad for the first couple while. like eventually she’d get the hang of it and be confident and capable in herself and her abilities but for the first bit she’d be like. so so so anxious like s1 piper need to have everything be perfect when it most definitely is not.

tamora powers are molecular combustion, healing, invisibility, psychic link with kat. so. tamora’s technically like only 1/4 whitelighter as neither of her parents are whitelighters, her maternal grandfather is a whitelighter and that’s it. so that’s why both her and kat are a little less whitelightery that the rest of the next gen tamora can’t even orb. which was like genuinely a shock as literally every other witchlighter in the family can orb, but she just straight up cannot. she can heal, though, and is the only one beside wyatt with that capability, so her whitelighteryness is still there. she just can’t orb. and then while molecular combustion as a power obviously came from piper, healing, invisibility, and even her psychic link with her twin are all very whitelighter-y. (side note, it is specifically the whitelighter part of the twins that give them this link just like how all whitelighters are linked to their charges, them being twins just like. amplifies it. it also allows kat to always be able to orb tamora to her side and sometimes orb her other places without ever seeing her but that bit still doesn’t work that great. so while part of it is a Twin Thing, it’s also a whitelighter thing, which is why like warren and sheridan do not share a psychic link. note pt.2 the girls powers were bound when they were kids bc they had i mean like p dangerous powers at least tam did but as established by the fact that paige could always orb despite having her powers bound, their whitelighter abilities were always active. kat could always orb, tamora could always heal, their psychic abilities stayed active.) and like, because of this it’s the same though i’m just leaving the parenthesis before i forget, tamora for the longest time had no offensive power the only thing she could do was heal. she was also kind of like the coward to kat’s fearlessness or even just like henry’s popularity. she’s the shyest out any of her siblings, a lot more reserved, she has anxiety, blah blah blah. so she never felt very witchy. she had her whitelighter power and her cowardice. and kat was off running around having a wild time and henry was reading about the most terrifying demons known to man shit that have clawed their way out of the underbelly of the earth and tam’s just like. like no?? stop??? oh my god??? and then around age 14 when the girls entered high school they unbound their powers and started to train them and tamora just really only felt more uncomfortable in her own skin bc like. molecular combustion, man. and piper would teach her like how to use her powers like okay you just really really angry and you throw out your hands like BAM and she blows up a chair and turns to tamora with that cute lil grin on her face like okay now you try and tamora just feels so out of place man. like her aunt piper is this fuckin powerhouse and this power is like. it’s just too much for her like she always somehow felt like there was some cosmic swap some mistake in the grand design where she and kat got mixed up somehow and she should have freezing and kat who’s bold and fun and brave and strong should be able to blow things up. because this isn’t her. this is too much for her, it’s too loud it’s too. strong. that being said, she’s always had a knack for it, which she doesn’t realize bc like. it’s a very rare power. but she was able to gain mastery over it faster than piper did in her day. so piper knows it’s not a cosmic mix up. she knows this is the power tamora was meant to have, and some day she’ll grow into it. it’ll just take time. but yeah. witchcraft is not so much tamora’s speed she doesn’t like. necessarily identify more with her whitelighter half (or fourth but whatever) but she does just. like she likes those powers more she feels more comfortable with them. i think if she were to body swap with kat she’d be perfectly fine at orbing too. in regards to charges she is Also 18 so again long way out i think she would be open to the idea but it would necessarily be something she’d like really really Want to do i think like her whole dynamic with peyton would really be her jumping off point for whitelightering but if she got someone who was a lot more just like. into making bad decisions i don’t think tam has the backbone yet to tell them off. 

kat powers are molecular immobilization, orbing, omnilingualism, psychic link with kat. absolutely no on the whitelighter front. yeah she can orb and is omnilingual doesn’t even register those as whitelighter powers. considers herself a witch through and through. is not wise, is impulsive, is reckless, is a witch. would never take a charge. if she did, she’d go on all their adventures with them bc that’s just the type of person she is. doesn’t to the vague, gentle guiding of a whitelighter she is not vague. she is also very close with chris bc they have such similar ideologies. but yeah. she’s not a whitelighter.

pj powers are levitation, astral projection, beaming, sensing love we have exited whitelighter territory and entered cupid territory i think pj very much identifies as Cupid-Witch i think she is Thee hyphenate i think she wholeheartedly embraces both parts of her craft as the eldest of her charmed ones set she does feel the need to like Set a Good Example she measures out all her potions ingredients perfectly and mastered spell writing from an early age she treats the craft with respect. she doesn’t necessarily treat the cupid practice with respect that’s not quite the right word there’s no dignity it’s all fun. bc love is fun!! her and parker have a running betting pool on various relationships in school. melinda would sometimes put down money, now that peyton goes to school with them she’ll also place bets. henry jr also does this despite having zero magical abilities to sense anything he thinks that makes it more fun. but yeah. pj views herself as cupid. she loves giving relationships the little Push they need to blossom. people think it’s because she has an advice columnist for a mom and they like trust her bc like. she’s nice and her dad’s a relationship therapist her mom’s an advice columnist and almost everyone has at least one friend that pj has had a hand in their relationship so if she sets something up they’ll trust her. the school newspaper suggested that she actually start an advice column or a matchmaking thing but she turned it down bc like. she doesn’t do remote, y’know. her cupid powers are very personal, she needs to see it irl all the move parts before she makes a judgement call. but yes. very cupid. loves saying it, too. people are like wow you’re so good at relationships she’s like yeah i’m basically cupid lmao. parker boos every time she makes that joke.

parker powers are premonition, beaming, sensing love. so parker definitely considers herself a cupitch not just a witch but she doesn’t go as far pj just bc that’s not like her mo. pj does have a slightly higher eq than parker a bit more of a gentle touch they stay neck in neck in their betting pool because of parker’s premonition power however pj knows her sister can see the future and frequently engages to change the circumstances. parker does meddle as much as her sister. and like yeah parker is p witchy she does focus a lot on combat she did turn her cupid ring into an athame bc like. fuck yeah. but she isn’t like chris or kat where she’s like I Am A Witch Full Stop she really does see herself as a cupid she had yet to like. Set Up a relationship like pj does but she doesn’t consider herself any less cupid for that she is a cupid that is who she is. she’d just like. a tiny violent one. 

peyton powers are telekinesis, beaming, sensing love. again kind of like parker where she still very much identifies as half cupid she just doesn’t do mayn cupid things. i mean she’s also like 14 so like give it time but yeah pj was ten and putting couples together on the playground like it was wild. and it’s not like parker where she doesn’t have the eq to do it like parker just straight up doesn’t know what to say to steer to people together she’d just be like hey u to r in love with each other so. have at it. like baby peyton could probably get it right in the very subtle classic cupid manner she’s just too shy. like she could not imagine just walking up to someone and talking to them lmao. especially not about love. and since the girls aren’t full cupid they don’t have temporal manipulation they can’t move through time nor can they slow it down to speak to people’s subconscious but if she could that’s what peyton would do. bc she does love love in the very true cupid sense she just like. like talking to people?? aaaaaa amirite lads.

[lover-of-trash-and-people]

alright shadow and bone s1e1 rewatch thoughts (spoilers) (it's messy and long and would be better as a commentary but im too lazy to learn how to edit videos)

I'm in love with Jessie as Alina. Racist cartographers *gag* but an important part of the narrative and i recognise that Ana Kuya telling a child the fold ate your parents is harsh but I still kind of love her. Jessie's smile... My heart has been obliterated. Oy, again with the racism. Keramzin is beautiful. Mal exuding dumbass energy as he screams NO whilst hiding. Have I mentioned I love ana kuya? Okay Mal I see you being all solemn remembering your childhood spent in fear getting ready for a fight. Love the grisha being established as having superiority complexes (as is their right). MALINA RIGHTS, they're so fucking cute. Archie is so fucking perfect to be Mal, so much charm and charisma. Dubrov and Mikhail being so fucking amazing (lads energy). Love retconning mikhael into not being creepy towards Alina. Alina eyerolling at racism like same, girl, same. military culture kind of an accurate vibe. Like retconning into only Mal being selected for the crossing. OMG KETTERDAM'S SO COOL AND SUCH A VIBE JESPER FUCK YEAH LET'S GO OMG THE CANE COMING INTO FRAME BEFORE KAZ HIMSELF DOES the jesper kaz dynamic is literally perfect FREDDY CARTER IS KAZ, the slight malice across his features is so great again, Amita Suman is Inej KAZ with the investment talk FUCKING RACIST SERVER Delicious Maloya crumbs. *takes off glasses* So, no tumble? *slams letter on the ground* *jumps on ravkan equivalent of skateboard* (see: 'so no head?' vine) yes Zoya go on show us that disgustang amplifier Alina being jealous of an unknown grisha, kind of cute omg Malina cuteness overload man they really fleshed Mal out I knew he was gonna say it before he said it and yet when he said 'i'll find my way back to you' I screamed THE CROWS ARE SO FUCKING COOL I CANNOT THE CANE IS SUCH A STAR the crows answering fan questions and giving exposition while giving us interaction, ah they really fed us AAAHH general kirigan crumbs mmmm Inej being Inej clashing with Kaz being Kaz, so tasty I actually really love Freddy packing malice and menace and the Kaz edge into his voice despite it being smoother and like not gravelly as in the books I don't particularly agree with Pekka Rollins' casting, I always thought it'd be a fatter, older, maybe a little balding, man, who had the potential to look kind. Also, the vibe is a little off. Mikhail and Dubrov being lads again Kind of love Alexei Is Alexei... into Alina? Kind of love that Alina making the active choice to go into the Fold instead of being picked is kind of dope, she really ate it up omg alexei defending alina Also, Jessie's so beautiful Nvm alina endangered the entire unit and led most/all of them to their deaths Really love this inferni telling them how the crossing will work, too bad she dies DARKLING BILLOWING KEFTA CRUMBS the cartographer who lit the lamp is a complete idiot obviously why do I feel nothing about these people dying okay go Alina for shooting the volcra even though Malina say she's a terrible shot HE FUCKING SAID ILL MEET YOU AT THE MEADOW Alina summoning light not to protect Mal but for herself kind of a boss ass move okay Alexei surviving I did not expect that OMG THE CROWS GETTING THE HEARTRENDER (Milana) BEFORE PEKKA Kaz smirking repeatedly? Unheard of Lmao crows being crows Kaz using the cane as a weapon and an extension of himself, so fucking cool Kaz fucking Brekker Inez looking at the Milana's orchid (brothel she works at) tattoo. Pain. Kit Young being the best Jesper Llewellyn Fahey he can be. Ah so Alexei was kept temporarily alive for plot progression. Also, Inej being humane towards this stranger The score slaps so hard btw. Inej's gasp at Alexei saying it was a sun summoner and kaz's disbelief Kaz instantly knowing what Dreesen meant by setting Alexei free because he knows how ruthless merchs are

i absolutely loved it, it was so tasty

[adamarks]

simon snow has fucking dragon powers or some shit and this is my goddamn proof

Whilst you people were having a meltdown over Baz and Simon not hashing it out (Simon’s not in a place of understanding his self worth enough for that yet.), I was having a meltdown about Simon Snow The Literal Fucking Dragon. 

Now, this is obviously going to have major spoilers for Wayward Son. I’m going to assume you’ve read it if you’re reading this. I’ve put a lot of thought into this theory and this is a long ass post so I’m putting it under the cut. Now. Let’s go, lesbians!

First and foremost, let’s start with the wings and tail. 

Simon’s wings are established at the very beginning of Wayward Son to represent something. We don’t really get to quite know what that something is until they start referring to Simon’s wings the same way they used to refer to his magic. 

The most direct reference to Simon’s wings symbolizing his magic is in Simon’s section of the prologue at the very end of the book:

“It’s time for me to stop pretending I’m some sort of superhero. I was that-- I really was-- but I’m not anymore. I don’t belong in the same world as sorcerers and vampires. That’s not my story.

Dr. Wellbelove said he could remove the wings. And the tail. Whenever I’m ready. I could go back to school then, or get a job...”

This section directly confirms that yes, these wings are a metaphor for Simon’s magic. They’re all he has left connect him to the world of magic. They’re the only thing still making him feel even remotely on the same level as Baz and Penelope. (This book really was all about the concept of self-worth and how completely lacking it affects not only us but those we love. Phew, talk about a doozy. No wonder we’re all crying.)

Now that we’ve established that Simon’s wings, at the very least, are his one tether to magic, let’s drive the nail into the coffin of the wings and tail being absolutely, 100% symbolic of his magic. 

As I mentioned earlier, the book starts treating the wings exactly the same as it treated his magic. This even starts before Wayward Son. The first mention of Simon’s emotions relating to his wings and tail is in the first book. In the epilogue, in Baz’s section, during the dance scene. 

“His tail whips out of my hand. It tends to slash around when he’s upset.”

This really starts to come out in the last fourth of Wayward when he’s “itching for a fight.”

His wings constantly poke, prod, and generally annoy Baz and Penny because he refuses to put them away. Almost.... like... how his magic..... felt suffocating.... and too much... and he couldn’t push it back... or tamp it down. *cough*

Okay, so that was all pretty basic, boring, base-building stuff, yeah?  Pretty “whatever we get it.” 

Well, here’s where it starts to get fun. 

Let’s talk about Simon’s Mirrors.

Lemme just explain what the hell a mirror is, first. In case we all flunked our high school Lit classes. 

A mirror character is, in simple terms, a character that acts, looks like, or reminds you of one of the main characters. Through these “mirror characters” some important information about the main character is revealed to us subtextually. 

Let’s name our Simon mirrors:

Ebb 

Agatha (she’s being developed as her own character but that’s not stopping her from mirroring our good lad.)

Aunt Fiona (to some extent anyway. she doesn’t really factor here.) 

There might be some minor ones I’m forgetting (I’m not including foils) but these are our main guys. 

I put Ebb on the list first, but let’s start with Agatha, the cranky heroine of our dreams. 

Throughout the whole first book, Agatha is shown to be Simon’s mirror. Them both mooning over Baz in almost the exact same way. (Jesus Christ they’re embarrassing to watch.) The waiting on rooftops, the handkerchief. (Don’t get me started on Simon carrying around Baz’s scarf in Wayward. I’m soft and everything hurts. Our poor, stupid, stupid boys.) It’s not exactly subtle. 

In Carry On, Agatha reveals just how much Simon also resents his fate. He never really expresses it, but Agatha is reflecting to us how he’s feeling. They both get progressively less resigned to the bullshit “Chosen One” fate as the book goes on. They both make it out alive. Maybe everything will be okay. 

But then Rainbow rolls up with a Sex On The Beach and Gucci sunglasses to tell us that “fuck no everything’s not okay.” (She’s right. God, I could go on a rant about how no one ever talks about how you feel when you’ve defeated the villain. When you’ve escaped the dungeon. Hhhhh)

Wayward Son immediately sets Agatha up as even more of a mirror than she was in the first book. We’re shown right away that the two of them are both in a depressed funk. They’re both at “15%” and miserable. These two are echoing each other like NEVER before and I am LIVING for it. 

Like, we even get this amazing bit in Chapter Four:

“That would feel like an answer to... the question of me. Then I could say, ‘Oh, that’s who I am. That’s why I’ve been so confused.’”

They! Are! Struggling!

Now, how does this relate to Simon having literal fucking dragon powers? Good question, thank you for asking. 

In Chapter Fifty-Six, when Pen and Agatha are stuck in the back of Fuckwad Vampire #3′s car, Agatha says this:

“I honestly thought I could walk away from it all-- like magic was a place. Like magic was a person. Or a habit I could break.

When Simon first came to Watford, he couldn’t make his wand work. He could barely cast a spell. He thought they were going to kick him out, that he wasn’t magic enough. 

“You don’t do magic,” Penelope told him. “You are magic.”

I... am magic. 

Whether I like it or not, whether or not I claim it. Whether or not I carry my wand. 

It’s in me, somehow. Blood, water, bone.”

They!! Are!! Both!! Magic!! 

Magic is in them! Magic is with them! They’re made of the stuff! They can’t cut off this part of them, no matter how much they want to. (lmao. talk about good old internalized homophobia. I don’t really have an opinion on what Agatha’s sexuality is, btw. I’m using homophobia as a blanket term because I have no clue what’s up on that front.)

Simon is made of magic. He doesn’t want to remove his wings. Even though he has to hide them. Even though he thinks he’s a Normal now. Like Penny said, “an aeroplane is still an aeroplane even if it’s on the ground.” (I’m not sure that’s verbatim, apologies.)

Simon still has magic. We just can’t see it. He’s made of magic. He is magic. He was literally conceived during a spell. Bitch is as magical as you can get. 

But where is the magic???? Where’d it go???? Hello????

I’m getting there. I promise. First, we need to talk about Ebb. 

Ebb wasn’t only Simon’s weird Aunt figure; she was his mirror. Ebb was what would’ve happened to Simon if he hadn’t rejected the mage at the end of Carry On. Ebb just gave in. She didn’t want to fight anymore, and she figured Shithead The Great knew more than she did. 

God I just fucking hate Mage so much like holy shit. Anyway, anyway. 

Ebb was the strongest magician next to Simon. She didn’t want to fight. She didn’t want to use her magic for any great purpose. She just wanted to be. Agatha even reiterates this in the epilogue of Carry On.

 “Like, they couldn’t just let her be.”

(No, Simon doesn’t miss killing things in Wayward. He misses excitement and having a purpose. He mainly misses having a purpose. Not having one of those fucking sucks.)

What the fuck does Ebb have to do with this? Why can’t I just get to the point?

My point is!

My Point IS!

That goddamn dragon with the sheep was supposed to remind you of Ebb.

So, let’s do the math. If 1=1x1= 1 then...

Ebb = Margaret = Simon

Sure, sure we had Simon screeching that he wasn’t a dragon. But Margaret was immediately like, 

“Not yet.” She pets his wing. “Are kitten. Someday dragon. Someday ferocious.”

Simon smells like a dragon, but also apparently “smells like iron.” Whatever the fuck that means. I mean I guess it means that Baz could still sippy sippy. (Which is gonna happen or I’ll eat my own toe.) 

One more thing: 

“I wanted wings,” he says. “I wanted to fly.”

“Why tail?”

“I wanted to be free!”

Gee, that sure sounds like what Agatha was saying earlier, huh?

YEAH OKAY HE’S HALF DRAGON!! WE’VE ESTABLISHED THAT!!! WHAT THE FUCK AM I ON ABOUT!!!!

Omg thank you for asking. I’m going to blow your mind with my final point. 

The Final Point: The Baz Problem.

Wayward Son is, by all accounts, Baz’s book. It develops everyone beautifully and everyone has an arc, but this book is where Baz gets to shine. 

We found out in this book that vampires are immortal.

This introduced a whole new issue, an issue that surfaces every time immortality is introduced as a possibility for one character but not the rest. 

Someday, Baz will be left alone.

He’ll inevitably outlive everyone he cares about. We all know our poor, beautiful, delicate bastard boy couldn’t take it. How deeply he cares is his most beautiful and wonderful trait, and this could break him. 

I wonder, how long does a dragon live?

Penny talks about the improbability of Simon and Baz in Chapter Three. 

“Star-cross’d lovers. ‘From forth the fatal loins of these two foes.’ The whole shebang.”

Simon’s magic was always described as smoke and fire. The first creature we learn about Simon fighting was a dragon. (Chapter 1, first page of Carry On)

“You’ve slain a dragon, Simon. Surely you can manage a long walk and a few buses.”

 God, I just really hate Bitchface the Mage. Anywho.

Simon. The One Who Came to End Us. Simon. The One To Save Us All. Simon is the dragon and the knight. He’s his own worst enemy. His arc will be completed once he accepts the “dragon” part of himself. It’s poetic as fuck, I must admit. 

Simon has to find love and care for himself, and then this baby dragon will be grown. He’ll be “on top” as Margaret had said. (God, could you imagine all the dragons waking up? How fucking epic would THAT be? Fingers crossed.)

The monster that drains living things and the monster that burns all in its wake. These losers are starcrossed, but they complete each other. Dumbasses. I just love them so much why can’t they get their shit together. 

Simon and Baz’s storylines are utterly intertwined. They’re perfectly matched. Simon might not know it, but their hearts are already tied together; they beat in sync. They’re two stars orbiting each other. And, if we’re all very lucky, maybe they won’t crash. Maybe this story won’t end in flames. 

So, in conclusion, I really really really want Simon to breathe fire. The only other way I could see this twisting is the wings somehow going away and Simon getting a regular-magician amount of magic. That’s kinda lame tho and doesn’t complete his arc correctly. This dumb boy is a dragon now and there’s nothing we can do about it. (EDIT: actually yeah simon’s not gonna lose his wings no way in fuck. check out my meta.)  Also? I would sell my soul to see Simon getting really possessive over really weird objects for his hoard. 

Thank you for sticking with me this far, dear reader. I’ll leave you with this thought: Baz is Donkey and Simon is the dragon from Shrek. 

Check out my other meta on the future of simon and baz’s relationship and how penny and agatha relate 

scarf meta as well check it

Gonna be tagging peeps so this can circulate better. 

@carrybits @neck-mole @watfordwallflower